


Ruler of the Home

by mamalovesherbagels



Series: Harriet Universe [1]
Category: 9-1-1 (TV)
Genre: and also appropriate for this AU, because why not, hi i gave chimney a kid!!, is the meaning of the name Harriet, prior to meeting maddie, single dad chim feels forever, the fic title
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-10
Updated: 2021-02-28
Packaged: 2021-03-06 14:28:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 13
Words: 26,502
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26390410
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mamalovesherbagels/pseuds/mamalovesherbagels
Summary: Chimney couldn't get a babysitter the day he's setting up Maddie's security system. No big deal, tell him to bring his daughter, Maddie had said. Except maybe it is a big deal, she thinks later, because she's managed to fall in love twice in one day.
Relationships: Maddie Buckley/Howie "Chimney" Han
Series: Harriet Universe [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1923883
Comments: 4
Kudos: 39





	1. Chapter 1

“Hi,” the man, presumably “Chimney” by both the scar on his forehead and the little girl in his arms says, starting to apologize even though Buck had already given her a heads up that his daughter would be with him and she told Buck to tell him it wasn’t a problem, “sorry, couldn’t get a babysitter on such short notice. She’s not old enough for preschool yet and usually I spend my days off with her.”

“Oh it’s fine, she’s adorable,” Maddie can’t help but coo, watching as Chimney’s daughter looks up at him with curious eyes, “you must be Chimney, but what’s her name? I don’t think Buck ever actually mentioned it, just that you had a daughter.”

“Hey, you want to tell Maddie your name, hm?” Chimney asks, nudging his daughter’s cheek with his nose.

“Harriet!” the little girl squeals, clapping her hands as if she’s as proud of herself as she can tell her dad is by the look on his face.

“That’s right, this is Miss Harriet,” Chimney grins, carrying her through the doorway into Maddie’s apartment, “it’s so nice to finally meet you, Maddie. Once Buck told me he had a sister, that there was another Buckley out there... had to see for myself eventually.”

“Ah, well, I hope I’m a little more... tolerable than my brother,” she jokes, and she’s clearly just messing around but it doesn’t stop Buck from shouting out a “HEY” in the background.

“She’s just teasing you, Buckaroo,” Chimney calls back, before smiling and mouthing “no” back at Maddie.

She can’t stop the blush that rises on her cheeks. She had known ahead of time from pictures that Chimney was handsome, but it’s a different thing to see him in person, to see that mega watt smile up close. And it’s a whole different ball game to see him with his daughter. His adorable daughter who is clearly his entire world, judging by the way that he looks at Harriet.

“I don’t really have any furniture that is actually inside yet, so you can put that bag down on the floor, if you like,” she offers, suddenly feeling a little self conscious about how empty the apartment is, when she really shouldn’t be because she’s only just moving into it.

“Ah, thank you. You know, had to bring toys and snacks for Harriet to keep her from getting too bored while her daddy is setting up your security system. Can you say security, Harriet?”

“Sec--uuw-wity.”

“Close enough,” he giggles, kissing the little girl’s cheek before putting her down, along with the bag and pulling out a stuffed dog for her, which is clearly one of her favorite toys, if not her favorite one judging by how she snatches it up and giggles.

“Easily pleased, I see,” Maddie laughs, watching Harriet as she snuggles up her toy, babbling to it in a mix of actual human words and incoherent squeals and everything in between.

“It’s her favorite,” Chimney nods, confirming Maddie’s assumption, “her grandma-- well, not by blood, but pretty much is her grandma got it for her when she turned three a few months ago. Her and Unicorn-- yes, it’s a dog but she named it Unicorn-- are inseparable.”

“She’s got quite the imagination.”

“Oh, you don’t know the half of it,” Chimney chuckles, looking down at his daughter lovingly, “this one... she’s going to be a handful when she’s older, she’s just so, so smart. I know every day probably says that about their own kid but... she’s something else. The light of my-- but you didn’t have me over here to wax poetic about my kid. Let me get started on setting up that security system.”

“Maybe you can do both?” she asks shyly, “set up the security system and talk to me about your daughter, I mean.”

“...I am a good multi tasker,” he grins, and she’s not sure, but she thinks that he just winked at her.

.

Maddie watches as the three year old plays with her stuffed dog aptly named Unicorn so intently that she doesn’t notice there’s anyone else besides the two of them plus Harriet’s father up on the ladder until Buck speaks.

“Ah, of course they’re here perfectly on time. Chimney’s never late.”

“If you’re not early you’re late, Buckaroo,” Chimney teases, fussing over some camera that Maddie hopes is going to make it feel easier for her to relax and actually get some uninterrupted sleep at night.

“How you’re never late when you have a kid is beyond me,” Eddie laughs, “you know me, I run on military time. But ever since I had Christopher.... but ah, this must be Harriet.”

Maddie’s confused for a moment before she remembers that Eddie only got to LA just a little earlier than she did, so it makes sense that this would only be his first time meeting Chimney’s daughter. It’s hard to remember, when she feels so new and out of place, that she’s not the only one who might be feeling this way.

“Say hi, baby girl.”

“Hiiiiiii,” Harriet whines, but she’s not looking at Eddie as she says it, she’s watching her daddy curiously.

“Your dad’s just helping me with something. He’ll be down soon,” Maddie murmurs, brushing a bit of dark hair back from the girl’s face.

Harriet goes surprisingly still for a toddler for a few seconds, and Maddie wonders if she had made a mistake to touch her, but then she’s reaching out her small, chubby hand to take some of Maddie’s hand in it, tugging on it lightly.

“Lots.”

“Yeah, yeah, I have lots of hair,” Maddie giggles, smiling widely at Harriet, dressed in what must be the world’s smallest LAFD shirt, “maybe you’ll have lots of hair someday, hm? If your daddy lets you grow it out, of course.”

“Her hair, not mine!” Chimney calls back, flashing her a grin for a quick second before refocusing his eyes on the task at and, “not my choice to make. If my daughter wants to be raven haired Rapunzel, then that’s her choice to make. Just gotta make sure I take her to get it trimmed every now and then so her Auntie Karen doesn’t yell at me about split ends or whatever.”

“Rapunzel,” Harriet says clumsily, continuing to play with Maddie’s hair.

“I take it you and your dad have watched that move many times?” Maddie asks with a laugh, noting the glee in Harriet’s eyes, and what Maddie picks up on as pride in her recognizing a piece of the conversation that the adults were having.

“One of her favorites.”

“Rapunzeeeel,” Harriet repeats, letting go of Maddie’s hair for a quick seconds to clap her hands giddily before tugging on her hair some more, this time more excitedly.

“Oh, sweetheart, you don’t think I’m Rapunzel, do you?” Maddie asks with a grin, bringing her thumb to Harriet’s cheek, “I’m flattered, really, but--”

“Shh, don’t ruin the magic for her, Mads,” Buck stage whispers, clearly very amused.

“But--”

“Your dad’s just helping make sure Rapunzel’s castle is safe, Harriet,” Eddie adds, a mischievous glint in his eye as he nods at Buck, before cocking his head towards Chimney, “isn’t that right, Chim?”

“Well,” Chim says, with a slight eye roll outweighed by the growing smile on his lips, “I can neither confirm or deny that I took you to meet a princess today, Hare-Bear.”

“Princess,” Harriet giggles, poking Maddie’s cheek.

“Yeah, a princess.”

.

Maddie is supposed to be unpacking, really, she had every intention to be doing so. But there is a very adorable three year old who keeps gently tugging on her hair and insinuating that she’s Rapunzel, and her father is equally distracting, albeit in different ways.

Buck had excitedly chattered away about his coworkers often since Maddie had arrived in LA. It’s not like had expected to not like Chimney, after all, single firefighter paramedic father to a three year old daughter sounds pretty hard to hate.

He’s just so magnetic in person, is the thing. Buck had mentioned that Chimney was “talkative” with a bit of a *(loving, teasing) eye roll, but Maddie sees it at as being bright, happy, charismatic. He’s fun to be a round, with a certain aura of joy that is contagious, and that his daughter had certainly inherited.

Harriet also seems to has inherited the kindness that shines clear as day in her father’s eyes.

She really does look so much like her father. Buck had told her of that beforehand, and also had quickly mentioned that while he had never met Harriet’s mother, that from pictures, she liked her mom, too. She frowns for a quick moment-- she doesn’t know how Harriet’s mother died, just that she did, and it must have been when Harriet was very, very little given that Buck had never even met her.

“You okay?” Chimney asks, calling her attention back to the room.

“Yes, yes, I’m fine. Just got lost in thought for a moment,” Maddie says quickly, gesturing to Harriet who has made herself at home in her lap where she sits on the couch next to her father.

“Yeah, us Hans tend to have that effect on people.”

She hates that she’s blushing, she hates that he’s able to make a squirming feeling arise deep in her belly, because no. She’s only just left her abusive husband, only just arrived at LA, and this is her brother’s coworker. Her brother’s coworker with a kid.

“You, uh, you said she turned three a couple of months ago?” Maddie prompts, trying to redirect.

“Yeah, she’s a June baby,” Chimney nods proudly, smoothing over his daughter’s hair, “this was a fun year. Finally old enough to actually have a grasp on the fact that the party was for her.”

“I can imagine,” Maddie laughs, “opening presents really is only fun for the adults until they get to a certain age.”

“You have kids?” Chimney asks, brow furrowed in confusion.

“No, no. Just... friends with them back home.”

“Ah, gotcha. Yeah, Hen-- my partner at work, don’t know if Buck had mentioned her-- was so excited for Harriet’s birthday this year because she was old enough to actually enjoy the present opening. Got her one of those little doctor play-sets for kids and Hare-Bear loves it.”

“Buck’s mentioned Hen,” Maddie nods with a smile, “hopefully I can meet her soon. She sounds great.”

“She is. The best. My best friend,” Chimney sighs fondly, “was so helpful when this one was first born, still is. It’s nice when you have your first baby after your friend has already had hers. Lots of advice and help.”

“Hen has a son?”

“Her and Karen have a son named Denny, he’s seven. We uh, we all hang out so much that Denny really considers Harriet more of a little sister than a cousin.”

“That’s sweet. I’m glad you all have each other.”

“Me too. Would be lost without everyone.”

“Oh, well I don’t know about that. You seem like a really great father, Chimney.”

“Really?” he asks, and the genuine surprise on his face makes her heart hurt a bit.

“Really,” she agrees emphatically, “she loves you so much, it just radiates from her. The way she looks at you. You love your daddy so much, don’t you, Harriet?”

“Daddy!” she squeals, bringing her hand that is not still working through “Rapunzel’s hair” to the collar of her dad’s shirt, tugging on it a bit, “hi, daddy.”

“Hi, Harriet,” Chimney coos, grinning, “we made a friend today, hm? I like our new friend, don’t you? Her name is Maddie, but Rapunzel works, too.”

“Chimney,” Maddie blushes, but Harriet is giggling so joyfully that she can’t help but join in with the laughter.

“Hey,” Buck calls from the kitchen, mouth sounding like it’s full of pizza, “aren’t you supposed to be unpacking, Mads?”

“I will, just-- in a bit. I’m bonding with my new friends.”

“Ah, bonding,” Buck snickers, glancing at Eddie knowingly who is just smiling and shaking his head, “you seeing what I’m seeing, Eddie?”

“Chim’s cute, so is is kid. Can’t really blame her, Buck.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! I'm going off prompts for tumblr, and every three will get posted as a chapter. So that's why it might seem a little disjointed. My tumblr is crazybagelbitch (lol) so feel free to send a prompt or two if there's anything you'd like to see!

.

Maddie is not 100% certain why she is so nervous for her brother’s coworker and his three year old daughter to swing by her apartment with a “housewarming gift.”

(Well, maybe the problem is that she does know why she’s so nervous and just doesn’t want to admit it to herself.)

It’s only been a couple of days since she’s last seen Chimney and Harriet, but it feels like it’s been longer, which makes her feel like a middle schooler to even acknowledge. Chimney had been on her mind frequently, as had little, adorable, sweet, curious Harriet who may or may not be convinced that she’s actually Rapunzel and not just some random 35 year old lady who had recently moved to LA.

There’s a ring of the doorbell, and Maddie checks the image on her phone from the security system that Chimney had set up for her to confirm that it’s him before strolling over to her door. Waiting a few seconds before opening it so that she doesn’t seem too eager.

(Jesus Christ, Chimney has really turned her into a middle schooler.)

“Hey. Good to see you again. And you, too, Harriet.”

“Oh well, you know, we couldn’t NOT give a princess a housewarming gift for her castle, right, Harriet?”

“Right,” Harriet nods, rather seriously for a three year old but it just makes it that much more endearing.

“Does she really think I’m Rapunzel?” Maddie whispers, amused smile on her face growing when Chimney shrugs and gives her a look to say “you’re guess is as good as mine.”

“Speaking of which,” Chimney announced, handing over a meticulously wrapped gift to her, “we have something for you.”

“Oooh,” she murmurs, shaking it gently, “not a book.”

“DVD. You do have a DVD player, right?”

“I do, and hmm… oh,” Maddie giggles, fighting the urge to tear up a bit once she sees exactly which DVD Chimney has brought her, “Rapunzel. So sweet. Of course.”

“Wanted to thank you for letting me bring her,” Chimney says easily.

“Oh, don’t thank me for that. The pleasure is all mine. I loved having her here, and speaking of which… if you two aren’t too busy, and would like to watch a movie…”

“Rapunzel?” Harriet asks excitedly, clapping her hands in that now familiar giddy way, “watch Rapunzel, daddy?”

“Watch Rapunzel, Hare-Bear,” Chimney nods, grinning.

“In addition to having a DVD player, I also have a popcorn maker,” Maddie laughs, raising an eyebrow, “I’m not sure how Harriet feels about popcorn, but I have lots of other snacks she might like.”

“She’s not a picky eater at all, got that from me,” he chuckles, carrying Harriet over towards the couch, “isn’t Maddie nice, hm? Has snacks for the both of us.”

“Snacks!”

“Yeah, snacks.”  
As Maddie pads over to the kitchen, pulling her popcorn maker out of a cabinet and scanning her pantry for three year old friendly snacks, she thinks yep… she’s screwed. Totally screwed. She’s nowhere near ready to date, let alone be someone’s stepmom, but… she wants these two as close enough to her as possible as often as possible.

.

“I know, I know, Hare-Bear,” Chimney sighs, bouncing her lightly on his knee, “I know it hurts. Ear infections suck.”

The little girl makes a bit of a huff and glares up at him, but he doesn’t miss the tears in her eyes.

“Your fever’s all gone, that’s good,” he offers, though he’s knows that’s more reassuring to his paramedic side of him and to him as her father than his three year old daughter, who is very upset that even though he already had to force ear drops on her last night and this morning, her ear still hurts.

“I can take her from you for a bit,” Hen murmurs, but she’s not really suggesting, just telling him she’s going to give Harriet a little cuddle given the way she’s immediately pulling her niece from her father’s lap to hers.

“See? Auntie Hen’s here. Going to be alright.”

“Sorry your daddy had to put drops in your ear, know that couldn’t have been fun,” Hen says with an exaggerated pout, and well, Chimney rolls his eyes a little but he’s willing to let Hen play good cop to his bad cop if that’s what it takes to make his daughter smile, “but you’re going to feel better. And isn’t this nice? Get to hangout with me and your daddy today.”

“Rapunzel!”

“I’m sure we can watch–”

“No! ‘Punzel! There!” Harriet shrieks, pointing one of those adorably chubby fingers of hers at a woman Hen has only seen in picture before.

“Ah,” she murmurs, blowing out a puff of air from her cheeks, “so Buck’s sister is this Rapunzel you’ve been telling your Auntie all about lately, hm? Just thought you suckered your daddy into watching it a few million more times.”

“Hi, Harriet!” Maddie coos, scurrying over to lift the little girl up from Hen’s lap and hold her in her arms, “sorry it took me a few hours to get over here, was with Josh this morning but as soon as I got your daddy’s text messages I got in my car to come see my favorite girl. How about I take you back to your dad’s place and we can watch movies all day and play with your coloring books until he gets home. Doesn’t that sound nice?”

“Hi, I’m Hen,” Chimney’s paramedic and very confused best friend introduces herself, though she’s about a thousand times more socially graceful about her confusion than Buck is, who is just staring over at his sister with his mouth hanging wide open, “I would shake your hand, but you’re holding my niece at the moment.”

“Hi, I’ve heard a lot about you– all good things of course– from both Chimney and Hen.”

“You and Chimney are friends?”

“It seems like–”

“Shut it, Buck,” Hen is quick to cut him off, not that she doesn’t entirely agree with what he’s likely thinking or feeling.

“She hangs out with me and Harriet a lot,” Chimney offers a bit awkwardly, “she’s new to the city and what better way to get settled in than spending time with your brother’s coworker and his three year old, you know?”

“Uh, how much is a lot?” Buck asks, and Hen lightly punches him on the arm and makes a shushing noise.

“Mmm. No fever anymore, that’s good,” Maddie murmurs, her lips against Harriet’s hair as she pointedly ignores her brother, “your daddy was worried about you last night, still is, I’m sure. I’ll take her back to your place, Chim, okay? Just let me borrow your key and I’ll take good, good, care of her. Promise.”

“I know you will,” he nods, zipping his key into the front pocket of her purse since her hands are full of his daughter, “I know, not worried about that, I just… she’s sick, and I’m her dad–”

“None of that,” Hen and Maddie both say at the same time, and hmm. Hen’s a bit… caught off guard by the abruptness of it all, but it’s not a bad first impression. Not at all.

“How many times have you told me not to feel guilty when I can’t be with Denny every single second because of work?”

“I know, Hen, but–”

“Hen’s right. No dad guilt. Harriet and I will be just fine and I’ll text you how we’re doing every hour. You’re a great dad, right Harriet? Don’t you love your daddy?”

“Daddy! Love daddy!”

“That’s right,” Maddie giggles, leaning forward to kiss Chimney’s cheek without thinking anything of it, before remembering they have company and blushing a bit, “we’ll see you later, Chim. Say bye, bye, Harriet.”

“Bye bye! Bye daddy! Bye Auntie Hen!”

“Okay,” Buck grumbles, turning to Chimney with his arms crossed the second Maddie and Harriet are out of earshot, “what the hell was that?”

.

“How often have you two been hanging out? Or three, I should say, as she seems to know Harriet pretty well.”

“Because she’s my daughter, so I tend to not stray very far from her, Buck,” Chimney says with an eye roll, trying to seem carefree and unbothered by the line of questioning but Hen knows him too well for that-- knows that sort of tension in his shoulders.

“You’ve been playing house with--”

“Okay, Buck,” Hen shakes her head, fighting off an eye roll of her own, “my turn to question him. You take a breather and calm down.”

“But--”

“Bye, Buck.”

Buck is being... a nuisance, would be a word for it. But Hen can’t feel too angry with him. He’s protective of his sister, just like she is protective of her best friend, for reasons that are... different, but not too different at the same time.

Buck has the trauma of being unable to save his sister from an abusive relationship searing in his mind, and Hen has the memory of those first few months after Beth died seared in hers.

“Okay, you wanna tell me why you’re comfortable enough with this Maddie to let her take care of my niece for the day? I trust your judgment, of course, I’m just a little surprised to know you three have gotten so close when I haven’t heard a peep from you about it or met her before?”

“It’s just... didn’t realize there was anything to tell,” he shrugs awkwardly, and she knows him too well for that, too.

“Not saying it’s like, some big thing, just think it’s weird you never mentioned her.”

“We’re friends,” he says, and the defensiveness in his voice is another huge tell.

She knows, she just knows what’s going on here, because she’s seen him in the early stages of love before, and she expected there to be denial when he fell in love again after the death of Harriet’s mother, especially since he swore to her that he was done having that sort of love in his life.

But she knows better than to push it, not when they’re in the middle of the fire station and there’s so much pain around this topic of conversation.

“Okay,” she nods her head, “wanna tell me about her? And why you’re daughter thinks she’s Rapunzel?”

“Because Maddie has really long hair and Harriet is three,” Chimney chuckles, a fond look in his eye, “I made a joke about how Harriet can make her own decisions about her own hair, and that if she wanted to be black haired Rapunzel when she got older than that was her choice. And then she just started playing with Maddie’s hair and calling her Rapunzel.”

“Ah, the magical thinking a three year old.”

“Precisely.”

“She seems good with her-- Maddie, with Harriet, I mean.”

“She is, she’s really good with her. It’s nice, you know? You’ve always been telling me that I don’t get out enough, don’t have enough of a social life, it’s just... hard, when you don’t have the other parent there. I can’t leave Harriet with her mom to go out because her mother isn’t with us anymore. So it’s good to have a friend who’s just... really good with my daughter and doesn’t mind that you’re a package deal. Not that you’re not--”

“I’m her Aunt. I get it. It’s different. Of course I don’t mind hanging out with Harriet.”

“Yeah, it’s different,” he sighs, and Hen knows that wistful look on his face, she knows it so well but she knows now is not the time nor place, so she just bites her lip and shakes her head.

“What?” Chimney asks warily.

“Oh nothing. Just laughing about how the woman who finally gets you to have a friend outside of the station is none other than Buck’s sister. A Buckley. Who would have thought?”

“Yeah, I was expecting her to just be Buck with longer hair, too,” he laughs, “she’s a little more... graceful, than he is.”

“I should hope so if she’s spending so much time with my niece. We already have Buck giving her too much sugar and riling her up past her bedtime, he doesn’t need an assistant.”

“You know... you know I love you, right, Hen? You’re a great friend, and a great aunt, and I don’t know what Harriet and I would do without you.”

“Yeah, I know,” Hen smiles coyly, rubbing his shoulder, “and I love you, too. Couldn’t imagine my life without you and Harriet.”


	3. Chapter 3

.

Of course when she’s finally meeting Hen Wilson for real instead of just a drive by visit when she’s picking up Harriet from the station, Chimney isn’t there.

Well, he’s coming, and it’s not his fault. He’s on his way back from the Lees who Maddie has been told are essentially Harriet’s grandparents and there was an accident on the beltway complication LA’s already horrific traffic on a good day.

She can’t be mad, just tense.

Hen isn’t being rude, not in the slightest, she’s just not being overtly warm either. And it’s fine, she can’t blame her, not at all. She’s protective of Chimney, as anyone would be protective of their best friend who lost the mother of their child.

Buck had told her about how Hen had moved in with Chimney that first month after Harriet’s mother died, and had been the one to take Harriet in when Chimney was recovering from his rebar coma, so she knows the bond between them must be fierce.

She’s beyond grateful that Chimney has someone like that in his life, and that his little three year old she’s grown to love so much has her Auntie Hen in her life, too. Doesn’t mean it’s not nerve wracking though.

She’s looking along the walls of Hen and Karen’s house, taking in the interior decorating, really just taking the excuse to be looking anywhere but Hen’s face, when her eyes freeze upon a picture, framed proudly in the center of the living room wall.

It’s Karen, with her arm around a woman who looks strikingly like Harriet.

“That’s Beth,” Hen whispers, clearly having followed her line of vision, “looks just like her, doesn’t she? Harriet is a perfect split between both her parents.”

“Wow,” is all Maddie can think to say, feeling pulled by some invisible force as she steps forward, lightly tracing around Beth’s face with her finger, “she’s very pretty. Not that I expected any less– Harriet is gorgeous, as far as three year olds go.”

“Do you know her full name?” Hen asks quietly.

“Beth’s?”

“Harriet’s. Do you know her full name?”

“No,” Maddie shakes her head after thinking it through for a moment, “I don’t think Chimney has ever mentioned her middle name.”

“She has two middle names. Her full name is Harriet Eve Wilson Han.”

The recognition in Maddie’s eyes must register with the other woman, because Hen is nodding, a sad smile on her face.

“Karen’s stepsister. Took her father’s last name. They weren’t that close growing up actually, Karen and Beth– Beth really only took the new last name because she hated her biological dad and couldn’t bear to keep his name. Karen’s dad married her mom when Beth was sixteen, so her and Karen didn’t really get much time to bond. But, when Karen and I got engaged, she invited her family over to meet me, and that included Beth, mostly out of courtesy. And you know, I begged, just absolutely begged Chimney to be there to buffer out some of the awkward.”

“And he and Beth…” Maddie whispers, feeling tears starting to well up in her eyes.

“Hit it off right away,” Hen recalls with a fond laugh, “and you know Chimney, well, I’m assuming considering how close you’ve grown, you probably know that he doesn’t do things halfway. Beth got pregnant, umm, really quickly.”

“Oh, oh dear.”

“They were a great match, though. It worked out so well. Grew so close over the course of the pregnancy, were so in love, even got engaged… helped bring Karen and Beth closer together, after all those years… I loved Beth, too, I really did.”

“How did– sorry. That’s inappropriate, I’m so–”

“It’s normal to be curious, I get it,” Hen sighs, “she umm… was kind of a miracle she got pregnant, actually. Didn’t think she would be able to. So even when health problems, complications with the pregnancy started to show up, she was still so, so happy. Never doubted her decision to be bringing Harriet into the world, even if it was risky…”

“She died during childbirth?”

“No, that’s what makes it so infuriating and unfair,” Hen shakes her head, clearly still bitter at the universe over it, and Maddie can’t blame her– she’s never even met Beth and she feels herself getting angry about it, “she knew, she knew that was a risk going in, and she had accepted that. But she survived childbirth. Only to have a completely random, completely unpreventable aneurysm and die, exactly one month to the day after Harriet was born.”

“Oh my… oh my god, that’s so…”

“Chimney found her. There was nothing he could do. He knew that as a paramedic, you know that as a nurse, I’m sure, people rarely survive them and when they do it pretty much comes down just to luck, but, don’t think he’s ever fully let go of the guilt for not being able to save her. It’s not logical, no one else blames him except himself of course, but he found her, his fiancee and the mother of his child, and he couldn’t save her… he’s a paramedic, so in his mind he’s failed. Beth and Harriet.”

Maddie can’t bring herself to say anything, just wiping at the tears that have fallen down her cheeks. She feels selfish, even if it’s not rational, for crying when it’s not even her trauma, when she didn’t even know Beth, and Hen isn’t even crying herself.

Still, if Hen is feeling confused or off put by her tears, she doesn’t show it, given by the gentle hand now on Maddie’s shoulder.

“He’s been hurt, badly. So if I’m not… if it takes me a while to… please don’t take it personally if I’m not the warmest to you for a while. I need to be sure, okay? It’s not fair to you but I’m a little critical of anyone that comes into Chimney’s life.”

“I get it, it’s okay… Buck told me you moved in for a bit when Beth died?”

“Yeah,” Hen nods, tears now forming in her eyes at the memory, “that was… rough. He needed someone there and he–”

There’s a knock on the door.

“Speak of him and he appears. Let’s not bring up that we were talking about this, okay?”

“Got it,” Maddie agrees, wiping at her eyes again, “we were just talking about the 118.”

“Just talking about the 118,” Hen repeats back to her, before slapping a grin on her face and opening the door for Chimney and Harriet.

.  
“She’s so sweet,” Maddie coos, staring down at the three year old girl in her lap, who is looking up at her with wide, loving eyes after tugging on Maddie’s hair and calling her a princess for the third time that afternoon.

“Sweet and telling it like it is,” Chimney can’t help but reply, smirking a bit at the visible heat that appears in Maddie’s cheeks at the comment.

“Pretty,” Harriet giggles, clumsily grabbing a ringlet of Maddie’s hair, and Maddie follows her eyes from her hair to the little girl’s own.

“Yep, I have it curly today, so it looks like your beautiful curly hair, Harriet.”

“Gets that from her mom,” Chimney nods, a bit wistfully, and Maddie nods along as if she hadn’t seen the pictures of Beth in Hen’s house.

“Mama!”

“Yes, mama,” Chimney agrees, sighing a bit as he leans down to kiss his daughter’s nose, “you look a lot like your mama.”

Harriet doesn’t understand what happened to her mom, not really, from what Chimney has told her. She’s three, so it’s not like she expected the young one to have an in depth understanding of death. She grasps it a little better than most kids her age might, because she can’t remember her mom so she’s not expecting her to just walk through the door one day because she can’t remember her being there.

Maddie winces at the thought.

But she’s still a three year old, and even if she knows her mother isn’t just asleep or in the other room, she’s too young to fully conceptualize that her mom, the woman who brought her into this world, is never going to be there in person to raise her.

She knows Chimney fears when Harriet is finally old enough to understand the finality of it all– that she will never have any memory of her mom other than pictures and few home videos and stories handed down from her loved ones.

“Mmm. Mama,” the little girls says, looking thoughtful for a moment before pointing up at Maddie, “girlfriend?”

“Uh, what?” Chimney can’t help but stammer, almost spitting out the coffee he was sipping on.

“Girlfriend?” Harriet repeats, this time with an impatient little huff as if she knows her dad comprehended the question the first time.

Really, he shouldn’t be too surprised. She’s young, but not too young to understand that some other kids she’s met live with mom and dad, or mom and her boyfriend or girlfriend.

“I, um, no,” Chimney shakes his head, looking anywhere but Maddie’s face, “Maddie’s not my girlfriend, Hare-Bear. We’re friends, and we spend a lot of time together, but we’re not dating. Like you and your friend Peter, okay?”

“Oh,” is all Harriet replies, no big deal to her before that wonderful toddler aged attention span is now fixated on her Deadpool action figure, picking it up off of the coffee table and twirling it around.

(Yes, his three year old has a Deadpool action figure. Don’t judge him.)

“She understood that fairly easily,” Maddie says after a few beats of awkward silence.

“She’s smart,” Chimney shrugs, “smarter than I think I am sometimes.”

“Oh stop,” Maddie says with an eye roll, “you’re brilliant, Chimney.”

“Yes, but this one? I swear, she’s going to grow up to cure cancer. Either that or world domination. Depends if she wants to use her powers for good or evil.”

“I take that back. Maybe you are an idiot.”

“Ah, now I’m finally starting to see that Buckley family resemblance.”

.

Hen is worried about him, too, but he just shakes his head when she tries to talk to him.

He’s tempted to just give Bobby the same response, but then he realizes that if anyone can understand the head space that he’s in, it’s Bobby.

It’s been roughly two days since that delightfully awkward moment when Harriet had asked him if Maddie, in front of her, was his girlfriend. The topic of conversation went away as quickly as it came on, but it had left him up at night thinking, wondering why his daughter thought he was dating Maddie, and what that meant.

Part of him wants to just write it off as Harriet being Harriet, his lovely three year old toddler who says anything and everything that comes across his mind.

But there’s a part of him that… knows she was getting at something real, something he’s had a difficult time admitting to himself.

“Penny for your thoughts, buddy?”

“Bobby,” he sighs, shifting in his seat, “when you first started dating Athena, did you ever feel… bad?”

“Ah,” Bobby smiles sadly, shaking his head as if from that one vague question he knows exactly what Chimney is referring to, and after a moment’s reflection, Chimney supposes that he probably does, “you feel guilty about being with Maddie.”

“We’re not dating.”

“Yet.”

“Bobby.”

“But you like her,” Bobby settles on after a few seconds, gently nudging Chimney with his elbow.

“Yeah,” he whispers, knowing it’s really not a secret to anyone but himself, but feeling incredibly vulnerable and raw for finally admitting it out loud, “yeah, I do. And it makes me feel… bad. Not her, she doesn’t make me feel bad it’s just…”

“I know what you mean,” Bobby sighs, leaning forward to meet his friend’s eye, “and I get it, I struggled with guilt when I first started dating Athena, and some days I still do, but not nearly as much or as often.”

“But how? How do you move past that? How do you not feel like you’re… betraying her? Not that I think you are, you’re not and I would never–”

“It’s okay. I get it, remember?” Bobby cuts him off, shooting him a sad smile, “do you remember when I first came to LA and took over as captain?”

“Yeah, of course I do, was right before Harriet was born.”

“Yeah, right before. Think I knew you for all of a week before you went on paternity leave. So, you know, I never really got to know Beth very well.”

Chimney goes quiet at that, looking at Bobby curiously, not fully understanding where he’s going with this.

“But you loved her, and she loved you. She really loved you, I know,” Bobby continues gently, “and she loved Harriet. And she wouldn’t want you to think you had to stay single forever, or to shut out someone who Harriet clearly feels comfortable with and has a relationship with.”

“You think?”

“No, I know.”

“It’s just… it’s not like we broke up. She died. So it’s not like… when you break up with someone, you get to move on, and no one blames you for it. But when they die… when? When and how do you decide to be with someone else?”

“Well, Chim, that kind of permission can only come from yourself.”

“Well that sucks.”

“It does,” Bobby chuckles, “but, think of what you would tell anyone else, who wasn’t yourself, in a similar situation. Would you tell me I was betraying my late wife by moving forward with Athena?”

“No, never.”

“Do you see the point I’m trying to make?”

“Yeah, it’s just…”

“It’s not easy,” Bobby finishes, patting him on the shoulder, “but it’s been a few years now, Chim. Beth would want you to be happy, and she’d want Harriet to have all the love in the world. You were dealt a horrible hand, Chim. You were forced into a terrible situation. No one should fault you– and that includes yourself– for making the absolute best out of it that you can.”

“Mmm,” Chimney murmurs, tears stinging in his eyes as he just mulls over Bobby’s words in his mind for a few moments.

“You’re a good dad. You keep Beth’s memory alive for everyday for Harriet. Moving forward with a new special someone in your life doesn’t erase that.”

“You really think Beth would understand?”

“Yeah,” Bobby nods, smiling at one of his most beloved friends, “yeah, I do.”


	4. Chapter 4

Chimney sighs as he peers into the call center. He’s not sure if he’s doing the right thing-- he’s very tempted to rush back to the Lees and abandon the mission, especially since he got there later than intended.

(Harriet had demanded goodbye kiss after goodbye kiss, and he’s not so good at denying her those.)

“Maddie Buckley? Uh, Kendall?” he asks, pushing through his doubt because he feels like he owes her some sort of apology.

“Oh my god, is Buck okay?”

Great, now she’s assumed her brother is injured because he showed up at her place of work without a head’s up. Should have texted.

“No, no, Buck’s fine. He’s an idiot, but he’s fine. I just um... haven’t seen you since the other day, when Harriet sort of...”

“...Asked if I was your girlfriend,” Maddie finishes with a chuckle, “it’s okay, Chim, she’s three.”

“A three year old who speaks every single thought that comes to her mind, whenever it comes to her mind. She’s told me how “fun” doggies are fifteen times in the past 24 hours, and at this point I’m heavily considering getting a dog so she’ll leave me alone.”

“We-- you, you should get a dog. It would be great and make Harriet so happy, and you so happy, even if you’re acting stubborn about it.”

“Oh God, not you, too. I already have a hard time saying no to my daughter, and if you’re on her side...” he shakes his head, knowing he’s an absolute goner, “but I just, wanted to apologize if Hare-Bear made you feel embarrassed or uncomfortable. She--”

“She didn’t.”

“Oh. Good to know.”

Good to know. Very smooth and eloquent, Chim. Very.

“I had no idea she was going to say that, and I know she’s a toddler and just says and does whatever she wants, so it’s probably not that big of a deal, but I just, uh, wanted to check in. I hope I’m not making you feel like I’m trying to push you into something you’re not ready for.”

“No, you’ve never pushed,” Maddie is quick to reassure him, blushing as she does, “my life is... I just left my abusive ex-husband; I’m in hiding from him. I would never invite you or your beautiful daughter into that mess.”

“Maddie,” he whispers, trying to gather up some courage, “I just need you to know that your past would never scare me off. I hate that it happened, really I do, but hey, it’s not like my life has all it’s loose ends tied up, either. I didn’t have my first child until I was 39, and then I lost her mother, leaving me a single father at 42. Some days I feel like her and I are barely getting by.”

“You’re a great father. Probably the best father I’ve ever seen.”

“Thank you. I sure hope so.”

He looks up at the ceiling, but Maddie gets the feeling that he’s really looking somewhere... higher.

“You are. You’re an excellent daddy and Harriet is just so, so lucky to have you.”

“And we’re lucky to have you, in any capacity. I just wanted you to know that... I want you in our lives, in whatever way you feel ready for. And I never want you to feel pressured, especially because... I’m not 100% ready to jump into this big romantic commitment after everything with Beth. But Harriet and I adore you, and our calendar is wide open for you, whatever you want, okay?”

“I just might take you up on that someday,” she smiles shyly, fussing with the collar of his shirt a bit, “and I adore you two, too. Maybe someday we can be more... officially of a family, but for now... I can come over later with juice boxes and those yogurt pouches she loves so much, and can watch Rapunzel for the forty-seventh time?”

“Can’t wait.”

.  
Maddie can’t help but smile and sigh sympathetically when the door opens to Chimney holding Harriet with one arm, and his hand on his stomach with the other. He’s pale and he’s grimacing with his lips pursed tightly shut.

“You just threw up in your mouth a little, didn’t you?”

He nods.

“Okay, let me take Miss Harriet from you, go be sick, you poor thing.”

“Daddy sick?” Harriet asks with a pout, as said daddy more or less runs away the second she’s transferred into Maddie’s arms.

“Daddy’s not feeling too good, no,” Maddie agrees, pouting right back at the little girl who she’s grown to love so very much, “but he’s going to be fine. Remember when you weren’t feeling too good a few days ago but then after about a day or so you were all better, hm? Think that’s what’s going on with your poor daddy.”

“Daddy sick,” she whines, “icky.”

“He’ll be okay,” Maddie coos, “how about we play just the two of us so daddy can rest? We’ll go check on him in a bit.”

“Play?” Harriet asks, eyes lighting up as predictably, her concern for her father is long gone from her mind the second Maddie had suggested it.

“Yes. What game would you like to play, little lady?”

Harriet points to the little toy tea set on the kitchen table that she already had suckered her daddy into playing with before he realized he would need someone else to look after his daughter and Maddie can’t help but laugh.

“Okay, okay, let’s have a tea party.”

“Then daddy?”

“Then daddy.”

Harriet is easily distracted for about an hour, more than happy to play princess tea party without any actual princess costumes. (Maddie makes a mental note for what to surprise her with on Christmas.) Maddie, of course, is given the role of Rapunzel, and Harriet chooses to be Sleeping Beauty for the day, minus the sleeping, of course, because nap time is Harriet’s personal nemesis, Maddie has come to learn.

“Is daddy okay?” Harriet asks once the novelty has worn off, looking at Maddie with huge sad eyes.

“How about we make your daddy a cup of tea and then we can bring it to him and see how he’s doing, hmm?”

“Real tea party!”

“Yeah, real tea party.”

Chimney is at least lying on the bed instead of the bathroom floor when they deliver his tea to him, so Maddie supposes that’s an improvement, pale as he still looks.

“You’re a little warm, hon-- Chim, a little too warm,” Maddie sighs, brushing her fingers through his forehead.

“S’fine, just the tummy bug Harriet had last week.”

“Poor thing,” Maddie murmurs, smiling at him sadly, “Hare-Bear was worried about you, insisted we go check on you.”

“I’m okay, Harriet,” he hums, putting on his best fake smile, “daddy’s okay, just got a tummy ache.”

“Belly rub!”

“No, that’s okay,” Chimney murmurs, feeling a little embarrassed, “don’t have to--”

But Harriet is already wiggling in Maddie’s arms, reaching forward to bring her hand to her dad’s stomach. Maddie gets the hint and sits the little girl down on the bed beside her father, very endeared when she starts rubbing circles over his shirt.

“Better, daddy?”

“Much, Hare-Bear.”

“You’re so sweet,” Maddie coos, smoothing over her hair.

“Daddy did for me!”

“Oh, did he? That was very kind of him.”

“Daddy likes belly rubs.”

“He does? Hmm, maybe you could share his belly with me, Harriet? Two people rubbing his belly should make him feel double better.”

“Maddie, you don’t have--”

“Good idea!” Harriet squeals, clapping her hands in glee as she so often does, grabbing Maddie’s hand and bringing it to Chimney’s tummy.

“Looking after both my favorite people today,” Maddie smiles softly, the tears in Chimney’s eyes not going unnoticed, “taking care of you both. And maybe I can stay over tonight? In case you need me?”

“Oh, Maddie, that’s so kind but you don’t have to--”

“Sleepover!”

“That’s right, Harriet,” Maddie giggles, smirking at her father, “sleepover.”

.

“Hey, hey,” Maddie coos, bringing her hand to Harriet’s forehead to smooth over her hair, “why are we being so fussy, hm? It’s my bedtime, my darling, time for you to sleep.”

“No,” Harriet huffs, and Maddie bites her lip with a frown. Sure, Harriet is a toddler, but she seems... genuinely upset, maybe a little anxious? Clearly, something is bothering her beyond the run of the mill three year old doesn’t want to go to bed yet scenario.

“Is everything okay, Harriet? Anything you want to talk about?”

“Check on daddy,” she whines, trying to wiggle out of her bed.

“Hey, no, we just checked on daddy before I got you all ready for bed. He’s fine, probably already asleep, just like you should be.”

“Daddy sick,” Harriet whimpers, tears spilling down her chubby cheeks that Maddie loves to kiss just oh so much.

“He’s okay, sweetheart. Just needs some rest.”

“Mama got sick.”

Maddie freezes. No, she is certainly not ready for this.

“Harriet, love, no-- daddy is going to be fine. Not the same kind of sick that your mama was.”

“Mama’s not here ‘cuz she died. Got sick.”

“Okay, sweetheart, I know that’s sad and so very scary,” Maddie whispers, trying not to cry as she strokes her hair, and really, she shouldn’t be too surprised. Three year olds can’t understand what a brain aneurysm is, so it’s not surprising that it was explained to her as her mother getting sick. It also shouldn’t be surprising that a three year old is having a hard time differentiating deathly sick from her father having a stomach bug.

“Your daddy is going to be just fine, I promise. I’ll watch him all night, okay? But it’s not the same kind of sick your mama was.”

“Promise?”

“Promise,” Maddie nods, leaning down to kiss Harriet’s forehead, “now please go to sleep, hm? Princesses need their beauty rest. I’ll take care of your daddy all night.”

“Aaaall night?”

“All night.”

Maddie is really hoping that Chimney will be asleep when she pops back into his bedroom, one, because he’s sick and needs the rest, but most especially because of the conversation she had just had with his daughter.

“Still awake?” he murmurs sleepily.

“Shh, just wanted to check on you before I.... you know, your bed is big enough for two people.”

“Maddie... don’t have to--”

“Shh,” she hushes him again, climbing into bed and laying next to him, “I, uh, made a promise to your daughter that I would watch you all night, so, better to do it from here instead of going back and forth.”

“Maddie, she’s three, and it’s just a stomach bug. I’ll be fine.”

“I know, I just... you look so pale and miserable and can I please stay with you, please?”

“Okay,” he nods, and Maddie supposes she should just leave it at that and not push it, but she finds herself crawling closer to lean up against him and wrap an arm around his waist, settling in as the big spoon, “...Maddie.”

“Isn’t this nice?” she whispers, bringing her free hand to his hair.

“It is, I just don’t want you to feel like--”

“I want to,” she cuts him off, “let me take care of you. Are you alright? Do you need anything?”

“Threw up while you were putting Harriet to bed,” he admits sheepishly, “but feel better now. But... did she give you any trouble? Took you a while to get her down.”

“Oh you poor baby,” Maddie sighs, wiggling closer with a huff, “and you know, was just worried about her daddy.”

She knows she needs to tell him what Harriet said, how she was worried her daddy would die from being “sick” just like her mother did, but it’s not the right moment. Not when he’s weak and sick and it would just more than likely break him.

“Mmm. Daddy is fine.”

“He will be,” Maddie murmurs, daring herself to quickly press her lips to his cheek, “can I... can I rub your belly until you fall asleep? Like earlier?”

“Mmm. Please. Feels so nice.”

“I got you, Howie,” she whispers, “I got you and I got Harriet. I got you both.”


	5. Chapter 5

.

“I brought chips and beer! Sorry Harriet, but you can’t have any of that,” Buck says as if it’s the most hilarious joke that’s ever been told.

“Very funny, Buckaroo,” Chimney rolls his eyes, bouncing his beloved daughter in his arms a bit, “knew we shouldn’t have invited you over to watch the game. Miss Harriet and I would’ve been just fine without you.”

“Your three year old wants to watch the game?”

“No,” he shrugs, “but she gets excited when I’m excited.”

“Cutie,” Buck grins, booping the little girl’s nose, “you’re pretty awesome, Harriet, did you know that?”

“Me?” she asks, eyes wide and searching.

“Yes, you, silly. Who else?”

“Daddy.”

“You give him too much credit. You’re the awesome one, Harriet.”

“Hey, she’s half my DNA so she gets at least some of it from me,” Chim says faux defensively, kissing his daughter’s forehead a few times before gently placing her down on the couch, smiling widely when she seats herself down in his lap the moment he sits himself down beside her.

“Basketball!”

“That’s right, Hare-Bear, basketball. Do you think you’d might want to play basketball someday?”

“Princesses play basketball?”

“The cool ones do,” Buck answers, and Chimney sort of wants to smack him a bit but Harriet is giggling so he’ll let it go, “I see you guys already have some Christmas stuff up.”

“Her favorite time of year. Got it from her mother, I’m not nearly as much a Christmas person as Beth was but--”

“Christmas!” Harriet giggles excitedly, “soon?”

“In a month, Hare-Bear.”

“Well, I think the Christmas decorations look lovely. Much more exciting than our depressing apartment.”

“And by our, you mean Maddie’s apartment that you’re living in rent free, correct?” Chimney jokes, trying to hide his concern in his voice for Buck’s sister because didn’t he once mention to her that Maddie loves Christmas?

“Funny. But yeah, there’s nothing. No tree or decorations which is weird because Maddie loves Christmas, like loves it, but she doesn’t want anything to do with it this year.”

“Well, it’s um, maybe a weird, difficult year for her,” Chimney tries to say diplomatically, but oh god, he knows that look on Harriet’s face and Buck has no idea what he’s just (unintentionally) done.

“No Christmas tree?”

“Not yet,” Chimney says quickly, giving Buck a very pointed look that screams just go with it, “they haven’t gotten a tree, yet, Hare-Bear. They will soon.”

“When?”

“Soon.”

“Maddie needs tree!”

“She’ll get one, it’s okay.”

“Maddie needs tree!” the little girl repeats, and Chimney is just absolutely glaring at Buck.

“Look what you’ve done, Evan. My daughter is obsessed now.”

“Well, she has a point. Maddie does need--”

“Shut it--”

“Maddie needs tree!”

Yeah, this wasn’t going away anytime soon.

.

“Tree? Getting Maddie a tree?”

“Yes, Hare-Bear, that’s exactly what we’re doing,” he says patiently, as if he hasn’t heard some variation of “Maddie needing a tree” eighty-seven times over the past three days, unbuckling her from her car seat and lifting her out of the car.

“Chim, she’s gonna love this place!” Buck shrieks excitedly, and sometimes Chimney has a hard time determining who is the three year old and who is a professional firefighter.

(If it weren’t for Buck being over 6 feet tall and Harriet being well, tiny, he might get them mixed up sometimes.)

“Trees!” Harriet squeals, eyes wide, and okay, maybe the pure joy in her face is making the past few days of near constant nagging worth it.

“Not just any trees, Harriet, Christmas trees,” Buck clarifies.

“Yeah, I think she got that part.”

“Oh, hush, Chim. We’re immersing your daughter in the magic of Christmas, have a little cheer.”

Okay, it’s not like he has a problem with immersing Harriet in Christmas joy. Of course not. That look on her face? Priceless. It helps him feel like he’s keeping her close to her mother, too, because growing up in Catholic household, Christmas was always a magical time for Beth, too, no matter how old she got.

It’s the fact that he’s not quite sure getting Maddie a tree is a good idea that is bringing on his hesitancy.

Maddie loves Christmas, Buck had assured him. And yeah, given her eternal optimism and air of bubbliness, that’s not surprising to him. But she hadn’t gotten a tree or any decorations yet this year, and he can only assume it’s for a solid reason.

She’s only just left her abusive husband, it’s a sensitive time for her, and maybe Christmas has memories that she’d rather leave behind. Maybe she wants quiet, pensive, lowkey sort of Christmas. He can’t fault her for that.

Buck and his Christmas obsessive three year old, though? They more than apparently can.

It’s a bad idea, he can’t shake that feeling, but Buck seems so desperate to make his sister smile and make some good Christmas memories over in LA and Harriet has not shut up about Maddie needing a tree since Buck had mentioned that Maddie didn’t have one in front of her.

Maybe Maddie will appreciate the gift. Maybe.

“Trees! So many! Lots of trees!”

“That’s right, sweetheart,” Chimney can’t help but smile, anxiety aside, but her smile is so wide and she’s projecting pure glee off of her, and there’s nothing that Chimney ever wants more than for her daughter to be happy.

He knows it’s not logical, he knows that everyone feels the full scale of emotions over time and that no one is always happy, especially not toddlers.

But whenever Harriet cries or is upset, he can’t help but feeling like he’s failing her, and failing Beth, too.

Yeah single parenthood is not for the faint of heart.

But right now? With his daughter pointing and squealing at every Christmas tree as if each is more exciting than the last? He feels like maybe he isn’t a terrible father.

“What kind of tree do you think Maddie would like, Buckaroo?”

“I think we should let Miss Harriet decide that, Chim.”

“Buck, she’s three--”

“That one! That tree, daddy! Perfect! Pretty like Rapunzel-Maddie!”

Okay.

He can’t exactly argue with that logic.

.

“This is not a good idea, this is not a good idea,” he keeps muttering to himself under his breath, hoping Harriet is too caught up in the excitement of the moment to be listening to him.

It appears, by the way that she’s giggling and clapping her hands, that she is.

“Maddie?” Buck calls, “we come baring gifts!”

He can immediately tell by the look on Maddie’s face when she sees the Christmas tree that he was right; terrible idea.

He opens his mouth to apologize but Buck beats him to the punch, continuing on talking, clearly having not picked up on his sister’s anxiety.

“We got decorations too, so don’t say–”

“I just w-wasn’t going to do much Christmas this year,” Maddie says in a panic.

“Why not?” Buck asks.

“It’s okay,” Chimney says quickly, hoping to salvage this before it goes further south, “Maddie doesn’t want a tree– we shouldn’t have assumed. We can give it to someone else, it’s fine–”

“Maddie, come on, you love Christmas,” Buck shakes his head, sounding incredulously, “what’s going on here?”

“Nothing, I’m fine. Just no Christmas this year, okay?”

“No Christmas?” Harriet asks, lip trembling and eyes wide and oh god no, he feels bad abandoning ship but Chimney knows he needs to get his daughter out of her and fast, because she’s going to get upset, and he knows that will only make Maddie feel even more anxious.

“No, Hare-Bear, we’ll have Christmas this year, don’t worry. How about we go get some ice cream, hm? Doesn’t that sound nice?”

“Christmas cancelled?”

“No, sweetheart, no. Not at all. Ice cream and then Christmas.”

“Strawberry?”

“Yep, your favorite, of course,” Chimney nods emphatically, mouthing an “I’m so sorry” at Maddie before carrying Harriet out the door, practically running as he can hear Buck shouting about how he has yet another thing to thank Doug.

Luckily, because of her age-given attention span, Harriet is easy to distract. Ice cream helps, and so does watching a Disney movie (but not Rapunzel of course), and so does playing with her stuffed dog named Unicorn.

But he can tell by her face when she remembers what happened earlier, and he does his best to reassure that Maddie is okay, just surprised, and maybe he tells a little white lie that the reason Maddie got emotional was just she was so captivated by the beauty of the tree.

Yeah, he feels like a dick for lying to her, but it seems like the better option than explaining domestic violence to his poor three year old who has already been forced to grapple with the concept of death.

His phone rings just as he’s finished putting Harriet to bed that night, and he knows exactly who it is, exactly who knows their routine well enough to know that Harriet would now be unable to overhear.

“Maddie? Are you okay?”

“I-I’m so sorry,” she whimpers, and Chimney flinches at the tears in her voice, “so, s-so sorry, was so nice of y-you to get me a tree. Buck s-said Harriet picked it out a-and I ruined it…”

“No, no, please don’t cry, Maddie. It’s alright. You didn’t ruin anything. I’m the one that should be sorry, okay? I should have been more sensitive and–”

“D-did I hurt your feeling? Is H-Harriet okay? Is she upset?”

“Shh, we’re fine, I promise. Please, please, don’t feel bad.”

“R-ruined Christmas,” Maddie sobs, and Chimney feels like a dagger is going into his heart, “she’s three and I-I ruined–”

“You didn’t ruin anything, and especially not Christmas. She’s three, okay? It’s impossible to ruin Christmas for her. I am begging you, Maddie, do not feel worried about us. We’re fine. If anything I was selfish.”

“Selfish? H-how? So selfless, s-so good…”

“I wasn’t sure you’d have… a good reaction to it,” he sighs, pausing and waiting for her to start yelling, to start hating him for being so selfish, “but Harriet was so excited and I wanted to make her happy and it’s the first year I feel like she’s really old enough to understand Christmas and that her mother’s not there and–”

“R-ruined it,” Maddie wails, and god damn it, should have kept that to himself.

“No, Maddie–”

“I’ll make it u-up to you, I swear. T-to both of you. Tell H-Harriet I’m sorry.”

“No, I won’t, because there’s nothing to be sorry for.”

“S-sorry. Gonna f-fix it. See you l-later.”

“No, Maddie, don’t–”

He hears a beep.

“…Hang up.”


	6. Chapter 6

.

“Who’s that?” Harriet asks, eyes wide and curious in that way he loves so much, their quiet, sleepy morning interrupted by a knock on the-- know, scratch that, by SEVERAL knocks on their front door.

He’s a little annoyed, until he sees who it is.

“We’re uh, we’re still in our pajamas,” Chim says a bit sheepishly, rubbing at the back of his neck but if Maddie picks up on his shame she ignores it, pushing her way into the apartment.

“I-I brought waffles,” she stammers, “in the shape of Christmas trees. A-and homemade whipped cream. I know you probably don’t want Harriet to have too much sugar this early in the morning but it’s almost Christmas...”

“Christmas!”

“That’s right, baby girl,” Maddie coos, going over to pick up her favorite toddler in the whole wide world who is currently making grabby hands at her, “it’s Christmas season. I brought Christmas waffles and decorations and a gingerbread house kit-- would you like to make a gingerbread house later, hmm?”

“Hansel and Gretel!”

“You told her about Hansel and Gretel?” Maddie asks a bit incredulously, turning to face the little girl’s father, “it’s kind of a grim story. She’s three.”

“You brought her sugar at seven am,” he shrugs.

“Even more sugar. I brought hot cocoa mix, too.”

“Maddie, I told you, you have nothing to make up to--”

“Do you like Christmas carols, Harriet?”

“Siiiiileeeent night.”

“Again, that’s the Christmas carol you taught your daughter, Chim?”

“Did you come over to bring Christmas cheer to me and my daughter, or just to criticize my parenting?” he jokes, smiling as Harriet is gently tugging on Maddie’s hair as she so often does.

“Rapunzel likes Christmas?” Harriet asks, looking up at Maddie intently, before noticing her eyeshadow and shouting, “green!”

“Her favorite color,” Chimney explains which a chuckle.

“Green for Christmas, Hare-Bear,” Maddie nods, her grin widening, “and yes, Rapunzel LOVES Christmas and she’s so excited to celebrate it with you and your daddy this year. And you know, now that you mention it, it’s a good thing that your favorite color is green...”

“Green!”

“Yes, yes, just like... hold on, Chim, grab the onesie in that bag-- no, not that one, that one.”

“Yes, ma’am,” Chimney nods with a shake of the head, wondering exactly how much Christmas Maddie had decided to bring with her on this morning, “ah. Here.”

He can’t help but tear up a bit when he pulls out a green toddler’s onesie featuring Rapunzel wearing a Santa Hat.

“Maddie... where did you even find this?”

“I, um, have a sweet old lady coworker at the call center how likes to knit, may have called in a favor in exchange for taking a couple graveyard shifts from her...”

Harriet lets out what can only be described as a squeal of pure elation and glee once her new pajamas are placed in her arms, clapping so hard she drops it and Chimney has to pick it up and hand it to her again.

“Just how many gifts did you decide to spoil my daughter with, Maddie?” Chimney teases, trying (and failing, though Maddie doesn’t call him on it) the emotion in his voice.

“Oh, don’t be jealous, brought a couple for her daddy, too.”

“Oh?”

“Yeah,” she says shyly, with a slight flush to her cheeks, “there’s some mistletoe in one of those bags over there.”

.

It’s a bit of a miracle that Harriet is sleeping soundly in his lap while music blares throughout Bobby and Athena’s house and is complimented by the raucous laughter of very drunk people.

He’s a little tipsy, but cannot go as far as them because he brought his little girl to the party. Yes, bringing a three year old to a New Years party probably isn’t the wisest idea, but it would be impossible to find a sitter for the night and Hen and Bobby had both separately begged him for his presence at their party and for Harriet’s.

(To be honest, they all probably love his daughter more than him, but that’s okay, he can’t blame them.)

Maddie, also a bit tipsy, is sitting beside them on the couch, leaning her head on his shoulder. It makes him blush and his belly feel all warm, but he’s just going to tell him it’s the couple glasses of champagne.

“Glad I came,” Maddie murmurs, and he can feel her jaw moving against his shoulder, “was just going to make Harriet smile, but now I’m happy I’m here with you two... and everyone else.”

The last part is hasty, nervously rushed out, and maybe it’s the added liquid confidence in his system, but he’s thinking that maybe he and Harriet were all she really had in mind?

“We’re glad you’re here, too,” he whispers, trying to ignore his heart pounding in his chest like a jackhammer.

“She looks so pretty in her sparkly dress,” Maddie smiles, gesturing down to Harriet curled up on him.

“A gift from Hen. A great pick for someone who I’ve never seen wear a dress before herself.”

Maddie laughs, and the sound doubles up the heat inside him. He’s always loved her laugh, how carefree and full of joy it is. It’s even nicer when her head is laying on him and the sound is so close to his ear.

“Hen’s a good aunt. So is Karen. And you’re a very good dad. Harriet is a very lucky girl.”

“She has a lot of people who love her, that’s for sure.”

“And I’m one of them,” Maddie nods, and God, he can feel her breath against his neck. He’s sure they both smell like alcohol but right now all he can smell is her shampoo, sweet like strawberries misting around her loose curls.

“So lucky,” he murmurs, breath hitching a bit, “so lucky to have you. We both--”

“10, 9, 8, 7!”

“Oh my god, it’s already eleven fifty-nine,” Maddie says incredulously, and fuck, he knows that look on her face. He’s never seen it from her specifically but he knows what the glint in her eye, tracing down his face to his lips means.

“3, 2, 1, HAPPY NEW YEAR!!”

It’s quick, just a timid brush of her lips against his before she sheepishly pulls back, heat on her face.

He hasn’t had enough.

After a quick look down at his lap to check that Harriet is still asleep, he brings his lips back to hers, and she eagerly reciprocates.

“Happy New Year, Howie,” she whispers, lips moving against his.

“Happy New Year, Maddie.”

.

She doesn’t know why she’s so nervous.

They’ve kissed, she spends almost all of her free time with him and her daughter, they’ve practically been a couple without the officiality for months now. So why does presenting divorce papers to be delivered to her ex-husband and asking him on an actual date feel so daunting?

Maybe it’s because she left her abusive husband not even six months ago, and he hasn’t formally dated anyone since his daughter’s mother died, she thinks.

“Maddie? Are you looking for your brother?”

He only asks because she usually texts him a head’s up when she’s swinging by the station to see him.

“No, I actually I came here to see you,” she says, feigning confidence as she hands him a manila folder, “to give you this.”

He wiggles his eyebrows in that dumb way she loves so much, smiling as he carefully opens the folder up and pulls out the papers, eyes widening in disbelief when he realizes what they are.

“Divorce papers? This feels so sudden.”

All she can do is laugh, the words she wants to say getting caught in her throat.

“This is a big step, Maddie-- I mean, he’s going to know where you are.”

“I know it’s a risk,” she agrees, reaching out a shaky hand to squeeze his shoulder, “but the only way I’m ever going to feel free of him is if I am free of him.”

“Okay, if you’re sure. Whatever you need, I’m here.”

“Well, you told me once that we could...”

“...We could?” he asks when she trails off, but he seems to know exactly what she’s trying to say given the hopeful glint in his eyes.

“I wanna go on a date with you. I wanna date you,” she blurts out, the words seemingly bursting out of her before she can express the sentiment more eloquently, and oh God, what if she’s being too blunt and forward for the man who has dating trauma and--

“I’d love to. Just name the time and place.”

“I was thinking maybe we could go out to an early-ish dinner and then we could spend the evening watching a movie at home with Harriet before she has to go to bed? I know that sounds kind of lame, but--”

“That sounds perfect.”

“It does?”

“It does,” he nods, grinning as he comes forward to kiss her cheek, smile faltering when the bell goes off a second later.

“It’s fine, go save lives,” she laughs, “I’ll get my time with you this weekend.”

“This weekend!” he shouts back, practically skipping on his way to the ambulance, and oh god, she is dating a dork.


	7. Chapter 7

.

“Okay, Hare-Bear, you be good for Auntie Hen, okay?” Chimney hums, kissing his daughter on the forehead, “Maddie and I won’t be gone for too long, then we’ll come get you and we’ll all hangout, sweetheart.”

“Daddy! Maddie!”

“Yes, just in a little bit. I’ll be back, I promise. Have fun with your Auntie Hen. I love you!”

“Daddy?” she asks, making huge sad eyes at him.

“Yes, Harriet?”

“One more kiss?” she pouts, and wow, who taught his daughter emotional manipulation?

“Of course,” he grins, giving her a few quick kisses on her cheek, “there, three for the price of one. I’ll see you later, sweetheart.”

Their first date isn’t very fancy, that being what neither of them really wanted. They’ve known each other how long now? Months, months of disney movies with a three year old and cups of coffee at a messy table. Anything too formal would just feel fake, as if they were trying to be something they’re not.

The picnic blanket lays down on the grass and they sit cross legged. The picnic “basket” is really one of the many bags he routinely uses to stuff his toddler’s snacks and mobile activities in.

It’s perfect.

They’re eating sandwiches, Maddie’s favorite: cucumber and hummus with feta cheese, and they’re drinking sparkling grape juice out of paper cups. It’s funny and beautiful and intimate and unceremonious all at once.

“It’s so nice out,” Maddie murmurs, looking up at Chimney with a shy smile, not really understanding why she’s so nervous because she’s spent enough time with him it feels like she’s practically his roommate, “s’nice. In Pennsylvania in the winter we’d have to be in full jackets and hats and gloves to do this, not just sweaters.”

“Ah, well, you know me. Was going to fly us out to Pennsylvania for this but couldn’t miss the opportunity to show off one of my “dad sweaters” that you love so much on our first date.”

“Shut up,” she laughs, her head tilting back, “but I do like that one, it’s nice. That maroon-ish sort of red is a good color on you.”

“You flatter me, m’lady.”

“M’lady?” she snorts, “what century are you from again?”

“Well, this one physically, but emotionally? I’m a single father to a toddler, so I’m like, a bajillion years old metaphorically.”

“Only the best toddler ever, though.”

“Oh, of course. Harriet’s brilliant and fun and totally going to take over the world someday. Just constantly feel like I have to watch her back because at any moment the student will surpass the teacher.”

“Oh Chim, honey, she’s already surpassed you.”

“That’s probably true,” he chuckles, “never really had a chance. She’s got my wit and her mother’s extraordinary determination...”

“I can definitely see determination in Harriet,” Maddie smirks, “and if she gets that from her mother, she must have been an incredible woman.”

“She was,” he nods, a wistful look in his eye before shaking his head, “sorry, didn’t mean to bring her up when we’re--”

“No, no, don’t apologize for that. She’s apart of your life, of Harriet’s. She’s Harriet’s mother. I don’t ever want you to feel like you can’t mention her around me, even if it’s while we’re on a date.”

“I know, it’s just, she’s my kid’s dead mother, not really the best first date topic of conversation.... I’m sorry.”

“Howie. Don’t be sorry. You see her in Harriet everyday, hmm? Not a taboo topic.”

“Thank you... for getting that.”

“Of course. You don’t have to thank me for that. We both have... interesting stories that led us to each other, right? So the past doesn’t have to be a secret.”

“I’m glad you’re here, in California. I wish you never had to run in the first place, but-- I guess I’m just glad that here is where you chose to run to, to LA.”

“Buck was here, and little did I know, two very important people were two.”

“We’ve been waiting for you,” he whispers, a sheepish look on his face, “we didn’t know it, but we’ve been waiting for you.”

“Well,” she whispers back, tears forming in her eyes as she’s beyond touched, bringing her hand to his cheek, “thank you to you and your daughter for being so patient.”

“For you? Always.”

.

“You be good for your auntie, okay?” Chimney hums, bouncing her gently in his arms a bit, “daddy will see you tomorrow.”

“Tomoooorrow?”

“That’s right, tomorrow. You get to sleepover because you’re such a big girl now, hm? I love you, Harriet. I’ll see you first thing in the morning to kiss that cute little nose of yours.”

“Nose!” Harriet squeals, clapping before half poking, half smacking her father in the nose.

“Yep, good job. That’s the human nose, Hare-Bear.”

Hen has to practically rip her niece from his arms, a mix between an eye roll and a sympathetic smile on her face. When he’s not working overnight, he’s almost never away from his daughter. So it’s understandable that leaving her somewhere else overnight when he doesn’t have to might be a little anxiety inducing.

A little.

It still shouldn’t be too big of a deal, Hen thinks, considering they work 24 shifts and he’s away from his daughter for a literal day at a time.

“Chim, what’s the worst that could happen?” Hen asks, raising an eyebrow.

“I know, I know, I just--”

“On your way, out!” Karen commands, pointing at the door authoritatively, “cannot be late for your date. We’ve got Harriet and how many times have we babysat her for you before?”

“I know, but--”

“Bye, have fun! Wave goodbye, Harriet!” Karen shouts, practically pushing Chimney out the door then shutting it as Hen cackles.

They’re right, and Chimney knows it. No need to make himself late over a little separation anxiety from his daughter. Though truthfully, there’s probably a little bit more to it, too.

The fact that he’s dating again.

Dating. It feels so juvenile of a word to him after losing Beth. And it feels both too silly and too formal for his current relationship with Maddie-- it’s not really much of a courtship considering their lives have been intertwined since she arrived in LA. She’s had her own demons to face regarding love, and he knows that she’ll be facing them in some way or another for the rest of her life, no matter how well she heals. Somethings just leave scars.

Just like Beth’s death had scarred him, and he knows has scarred Harriet, too, even if she’s too young to understand it. They’ve both been hurt incomparably in their intimate relationships, Maddie by a man with the worst intentions and Chimney by quickly, randomly losing a woman with some of the best.

He wonders how this feels for Karen. Sure, she had encouraged it, and had literally just shoved him out the door towards Maddie, but still. Beth was her stepsister. Even if they didn’t become close with one another until adulthood.

Until Beth met him and she became interwoven into the fabric of Karen’s life all over again. Chimney knows Karen loves her niece beyond words and wouldn’t change a single thing about her, but sometimes when he lies awake at night he can’t help but wonder if Karen bears any resentment toward him, resentment for bringing Beth back into her life only for her to be shortly taken.

And now he’s moving forward with someone new.

What does that feel like for her?

And what will that feel like for Harriet when she gets older? She’s three, she has no memory of her mother, and she loves having Maddie around. It’s been remarkably emotionally uncomplicated in that regard so far.

But he knows that Harriet will get older, she’ll have questions, and she’ll have her own feelings that she’s absolutely entitled to.

He loves Maddie, and he knows Harriet does, too, but is he doing the right thing?

What would Beth think?

But oh, what was that thing she always told him?

That he “always tried to solve all of the world’s problems in five minutes.”

She was right, he never had been any good at just enjoying what was without agonizing over every hypothetical detail of what was to come. Beth would want him to be happy, that he is fairly certain of, and he is completely certain of the fact that she would want their daughter to be happy.

And Maddie makes both him and Harriet happy.

That’s the now, that’s the present... maybe he should just take Beth’s advice and live for what is instead of theorizing about what might happen as Harriet gets older, and as his relationship with Maddie grows.

It’s a date. One night without his daughter.

Like Hen said, what was the worst that could happen?

He takes a deep breath, walking down the brick path towards Maddie’s apartment when he stops. There’s a face, one he thinks he knows from photographs shown to him out of caution, but it’s dark and he can only half see and it’s probably just his mind running away from him again and--

In and out. In and out again. In and out quick.

The blade’s path is precise, far from hesitant.

Maddie did say her ex-husband was a surgeon.

.

“Chim?” Hen whispers, running her hands through his hair only for him to flinch from her touch again, “honey? Are you sure you don’t want to see Harriet? She’s-- she’s okay, she’s with Bobby, but he says she’s been upset and maybe it would be good for both of you to--”

“What does she know?” he demands flatly, looking up at Hen with eyes she hasn’t seen as distant since the months directly following the passing of Harriet’s mother.

“Just that her daddy is hurt, but he’ll be okay,” Hen sighs, tempted to touch him again but thinking better of it, “no more specific than that, nothing about Maddie... we wanted to leave that up to you as her dad, to decide what’s age appropriate for her...”

“Still nothing?”

“Still nothing. No one knows where they are.”

“It’s really him? I-I never got a good look at him...”

“It’s him, Chim, I’m sorry,” Hen sighs, “he apparently hasn’t been in Pennsylvania for quite some time. Maddie’s lawyer tried to have him served with the divorce papers but no one over there has seen him in months.”

“He’s been here,” he spits bitterly, feeling like he could throw up.

“He’s been here for part of it,” she nods, “we don’t know at this point how long it took him to find her.”

“Does it matter? Whether he’d been in LA for five months or five minutes-- he found her. He has her. Hen... she’s not coming back from this alive, is she?”

“I don’t know,” Hen admits quietly, knowing the statistics and likeliness and knowing Chimney, knowing that any false hope she supplies him with will just push him further away from her emotionally.

“How... how did he... she was so careful, how could he find her?”

“I don’t know,” Hen says again, tentatively bringing her hand to his shoulder, relieved when he finally doesn’t try and reject the touch, “it’s hard to just disappear without any trace, no matter how careful you are, and he... I think it’s pretty fair to say he’s relentless, Chim.”

“She’s gonna die. She’s gonna die a-and I always lost... how am I supposed to keep going if Maddie doesn’t come back?”

“The same way you did after Beth died,” she whispers, tears welling up in her eyes, “I hope you don’t have to, Chimney. I really hope you don’t have to.”

“Chimney!” a new voice for the day shouts, as Karen comes bounding into the room, breathless, “Chimney, she’s alive.”

“...W-what?” he whimpers, voice barely loud enough to be heard.

“She’s alive, s-she... they found them, tracked a rental car.... there was a stand down a-and... Doug’s dead, the police shot him but Maddie’s alive. H-he tried to take her with him but, the bullet got j-jammed in the chamber...”

“Maddie’s alive? She’s going to be okay?” Hen asks, because she can tell by the way Chimney’s mouth keeps opening and closing that he can’t find the words to say it himself.

“She’s alive. Hurt but nothing life threatening. She’s going to be okay.”

“H-Hen?”

“Yes, Chimney?” Hen hums, bringing a hand to his cheek, “yes, honey?”

“I-I want Harriet. Can you tell Bobby to bring h-her? I want my daughter.”


	8. Chapter 8

. 

“Remember what we said, Harriet?” Bobby murmurs gently, but all prior advice and instruction goes flying out the window the minute he carries the little girl through the door and she sees her father, “your daddy is hurt, so we have to be--”

“DADDY!” the little girl wails, wiggling around desperately in Bobby’s arms while making the best grabby hands she can for Chimney, “d-daddy!”

“Shh, shh, don’t cry, Hare-Bear,” Chimney hushes her, unable to keep in a hiss of pain at the movement from opening her arms for her.

“Hey, easy, Chimney,” Bobby warns, but Chimney is having none of it.

“Just give me my daughter,” he huffs, and later he’ll have to apologize for being rude, but in the moment he doesn’t care about any physical pain, he just wants to hold Harriet.

He remembers lying on the brick when Buck found him, begging him to keep his eyes open and stay with him. He remembers drifting away in the ambulance, thinking that his only child was becoming an orphan because he was too weak to hold on.

Then he had woken up, badly hurt but alive after surgery, with no news on Maddie, inclined to assume the worst. Lying in pain, out of it in a hospital bed, having survived but knowing that Maddie was most likely already dead, thinking of how he was going to have to tell Harriet that another invaluable woman in her life wasn’t going to come home...

He hadn’t been able to face her.

But now his sweet, wiggly, not at all calm or gentle as told to be little girl is all he wants.

“Hi, baby girl,” he murmurs, breathing in the smell of her hair, “your Uncle Bobby tells me you were a bit of a terror while you were staying with him. You want to tell me what that was all about it, hmm?”

“Daddy,” the little girl whimpers, squirming in a way that most definitely isn’t advisable while laying on top of a man with stitches across his abdomen but Chimney doesn’t even care, “weren’t home. Hurt? Bobby said daddy was hurt. Wanted daddy.”

“Daddy’s hurt, but he’s going to be okay,” he coos, kissing her cute little nose that he loves so much, “how could he not be okay when he has the best daughter in the whole wide world?”

“Daddy,” she repeats a few more times, settling down a bit (mercifully, for his incision wounds) with her head buried in his neck, “missed you.”

“I missed you more, Harriet. Daddy hates being apart from you, you know that.”

“Was supposed to be home,” she whines, sniffling some more and he hates that she’s crying, and that he wasn’t able to come home when he promised her he would and that he’s now in a hospital bed, which can’t be reassuring to a three year old at all.

“I know, Harriet, I know. But we’re together now, hmm? Have my favorite girl in the whole wide world with me here. Everything is going to be alright.”

“Maddie?”

“We’ll see Maddie soon,” he says carefully, wincing which for once has nothing to do with the physical pain, not knowing when Maddie will be willing or able to see them, but there’s no need to stress out an already very stressed out toddler with all the horrific details. Besides, he doesn’t even know how Bobby or Hen or Karen had explained why Maddie was missing from Harriet’s presence, either.

“Daddy okay?” she whines, pulling back to look up at him with those wide, curious eyes he loves so much.

“Yeah, daddy’s okay,” he answers, nodding even though it seems like a gross over simplification, “daddy’s okay but going to have to stay here with the doctors for a little bit. Bobby and Aunties Hen and Karen will look after you and take you to visit me until I can come home.”

“Not going home?”

“Not yet, Hare-Bear, I’m sorry. I don’t like it either.”

“Not going home without daddy,” Harriet huffs, looking determined and cranky- a fact that is not surprising considering Bobby had mentioned that Harriet had absolutely REFUSED to sleep since finding out her daddy was both not home when he was supposed to be AND was hurt.

He makes sure to mouth an “I’m so sorry” at Bobby behind his daughter’s back.

“Why don’t we let her stay here with you tonight and save that battle for tomorrow?” Bobby suggests, sensing that Chimney’s not really ready to say goodbye, either.

“Great idea,” Chimney nods, kissing Harriet’s forehead, “sleepover with my favorite person.”

“Me?” Harriet giggles.

“Yes, you. Who else? Light of my whole life.”

.

The bruises on her cheeks, the cut on her forehead, the way he can tell she’s walking with a limp, it all makes him feel sick.

She’s wearing mascara, he notices, that’s clearly been applied recently and he wonders if she took that measure to try and appear in better shape than she actually was for him. That makes him feel sick, too.

But it’s quickly overpowered by the realization that she’s there in his hospital room with him, she’s alive, her heat is beating and Maddie didn’t go where Beth went.

“Y-you’re alive,” he stammers out, and it’s probably not the best thing to say because she’s probably contemplated her own mortality far more than he has over the last two and a half days, but it’s what comes out.

“So are you,” she replies, looking dazed and as if she’s in a trance as she slowly makes her way over to sit on the side of his hospital bed.

“I thought...” he trails off, as she shakes her head, “I really thought...”

“Me too,” she agrees, bringing her fingers to gently graze across his cheek.

“You’re okay.”

“We’re okay,” she corrects him, and he knows it’s a major over simplification but they both survived the attempts on their lives made by her ex-husband, so in the moment, it’s enough.

It’s more than an enough, considering he had genuinely thought he would only ever see her face again if she had an open casket at her funeral.

“Harriet is with Hen,” he finds himself saying, even though Maddie could most likely deduce that herself, but the silence is heavy and he’s too awkward and too anxious to let it continue, “Bobby needed a break.”

“Oh?” she asks, raising an eyebrow, and the cut right above it along with it.

“Bobby had her while... I was in surgery, and then I wasn’t ready to see her for a little while. Didn’t want to scare her,” he explains, “it um, didn’t go over so well the first time she saw me after I woke up from the whole rebar coma so... wanted to do it right this time, I guess, or as right as is-- sorry, I’m rambling.”

“It’s okay, take your time,” she murmurs, looking at him sweetly and he can see the unsaid aloud “we’ve got time” clear in her eyes.

“Anyway, so she was with Bobby and um, I told her I would be back in the morning after our date. Obviously that didn’t happen,” he says, flinching at his own ineptitude at not making this conversation more painful than it needed to be, “and then I wasn’t back when I said I would be, and she had been told that I was hurt and she, uh, apparently was an actual nightmare.”

“Harriet? Really?” Maddie asks, giggling a bit because Harriet certainly was high energy and also came with all the usual difficulties of being a toddler, but she had never seen the little girl act nightmarish, per say.

“Oh yeah,” Chimney laughs, and he feels guilty for laughing when Maddie just almost died and is now almost assuredly traumatized for life, but he’s never been good at not joining in when she laughs, “knocked over her juice, threw a stuffed animal at him, wouldn’t--”

“Wait? She threw a stuffed animal at him.”

“Mhmm,” he nods, smirking, “and called him stupid when he told her he couldn’t take her to see me yet.”

“Oh god. Poor thing.”

“Harriet or Bobby?” he jokes weakly, bringing his hand to hers where it rests gently above his stomach, just an inch away from a new scar there.

“I meant Harriet. Bobby is a grown man,” she says with a huff, “worried about her daddy, wanting him to come home to her... Chimney I am so--”

“If you’re going to apologize, don’t.”

“Chimney... he is-- he was-- my ex-husband. He hurt you to get to me.”

“And that’s on him, not on you.”

“Y-you have a daughter. You could’ve... you could’ve n-never made it home to her.”

“But I did, or at least I’m going to. She’s not going to like daddy being in the hospital for the next week and a half or so, but I’m going to come home eventually and that’s what really matters. We’re both alive, Maddie, that’s what matters the most.”

“I-I guess so...”

“It wasn’t your fault,” he murmurs, and she just shrugs and he knows she doesn’t believe it, but also knows that believing that will take time, and that now is probably not the best time to belabor that point.

“How are you feeling?” 

“I-I’m okay,” she sighs, “my ankle is pretty sprained from a fall, he pushed me... and I know you can see my face... sore, but I’ll live. How are you feeling? Y-you got stabbed.”

“Sore, but I’ll live.”

“Howie.”

“I’m going to be okay, so please take that sad look off your face.”

“But you... Howie, I thought you were gone.”

“And I thought you were gone, too. But you’re not. So can we just take a quick moment to be happy about that?”

“...Okay,” she whispers, biting her lip before leaning over to kiss him, “okay. We can be happy about that. I’m more than happy about that.”

.

Hen sighs, biting her lip as she tries to decide whether she should intervene or not as Harriet becomes increasingly upset by the very obvious tension between the two adults she loves so much.

Hen is there for two reasons.

One, because Chimney’s abdomen is still healing from surgery and he’ll need help taking care of himself and his daughter.

And secondly, because both he and Maddie are (very understandably) emotional ticking time bombs.

Hen had wondered, including out loud to Chimney, if Maddie staying with them was really in everyone’s best interest. She wasn’t suggesting that Maddie shouldn’t be around, of course, just maybe not all the time when her and Chimney are both struggling so much individually and also enduring such an (again, very understandably) awkward period in their relationship.

But Maddie and Chimney had both insisted on it, and their adults, so she had just let it be.

Still, she can’t help but feel like maybe she should have pitched a little harder as she notices Chimney rubbing his temples as if he’s getting a migraine as he often does from stress, and his daughter’s lower lip wobbling as she stares at Maddie with huge sad eyes, confused as to why the normally bubbly woman is quietly hanging back and keeping her distance.

“Maddie, come sit,” the little girl demands, crossing her arms with a huff.

Maddie is still quiet, seemingly deliberating but it seems as if poor Harriet’s confusion at the all of the tension has reached it’s boiling point.

“Come sit!”

“Harriet,” Chimney says warily, wincing and squeezing his eyes shut tight and yep, definitely getting a migraine, “no yelling. Say sorry to Maddie, please.”

“N-no,” Maddie shakes her head, and Hen can see this going very south very quickly, “she doesn’t have to.”

“Yes, she does. We don’t yell, right, Harriet?”

“But–”

“Sorry,” the little girl huffs, and it’s not very sincere in the slightest but given the circumstances, Chimney decides to just accept it as is.

“Thank you for apologizing, Hare-Bear,” he says measuredly, still keeping his eyes shut tight, “Maddie, why don’t you come sit?”

“I-I don’t mean to impose…”

“Maddie, please?” Chimney all but whimpers, knowing it’s not completely fair and not enough for the moment– they need to talk about her guilt and how she feels as if she doesn’t belong even though he invited her to stay with him, but his head feels like it’s being hammered and if his toddler starts crying, he might start crying, too.

“Okay,” Maddie nods, hesitantly making her way over to the couch, jumping a bit in surprise when Harriet throws herself onto her lap as soon as is possible.

“Hi, sweetie,” Maddie murmurs, putting on her best fake smile, “I-I missed you. How are you?”

“Maaaaddie,” she whines, frowning as she takes in the bruises on Maddie’s face from up close, bringing her hand to her cheek, “hurt?”

“It’ll heal,” is all she can think to say, running a hand through the little girl’s hair, “it’s okay, Harriet.”

“Daddy’s hurt, too. Why?”

“Why?” Maddie asks with a flinch, looking at Chimney desperately.

“Why you both hurt?” Harriet demands, tears spilling out from her eyes and Chimney knows it’s not fair but he feels his patience slipping more and more with every passing second.

“Sometimes these things happen, Harriet,” Hen intercedes calmly, knowing that Chimney nor Maddie is capable of handling the conversation at the moment, “but Maddie and your daddy are both going to be fine. It’s okay, sweet girl.”

“Auntie Hen! Sleeping over?”

“Why of course I am, Hare-Bear. Missed my favorite niece.”

“Are you okay?” Maddie whispers, frowning at the pinched, pained look on her boyfriend’s face.

“Yeah, fine,” he mumbles, and if Hen weren’t busy entertaining his daughter she would roll her eyes.

“Howie, a-are you sure?” Maddie asks shakily, cautiously bringing her hand to his shoulder.

“M’fine.”

“Daddy!” Harriet shouts, and everyone flinches, “eyes closed! Sleepy?”

“No, no,” he grumbles, “daddy’s fine, Harriet.”

“Not fine!” she shouts, because she of course doesn’t know the details of the entire situation but she’s not dumb– just because she’s three doesn’t mean she’s not observant enough to grasp that something is very wrong with both her beloved father and his girlfriend.

“Hey, Harriet? How about we go play outside for a bit?” Hen suggests, but it’s more of just telling her what to do because she’s already picking the little girl up in her arms, “I don’t think your daddy is feeling very well and I think both he and Maddie should take a little nap.”

“Daddy sick?”

“Daddy has a bit of headache,” Hen explains, carrying her niece over towards the front door, “we’re gonna go play out where we can be as loud as we want without it making him feel worse. You two.”

She pauses, turning to Maddie and Chimney with a look that says she means business.

“Get some sleep. Seriously. And Maddie, give him some advil and water first.”


	9. Chapter 9

.

Chimney knows it’s not fair to be frustrated with her as she awkwardly stands a few feet away from him, reaching and then putting her hand back down as if she can’t decide if she wants to come forward and touch him. He knows it’s not fair to want to snap at her because he can’t imagine how all of this feels for her-- after all, he got stabbed but he didn’t even know the guy. Maddie got abducted and tortured and almost died at the hands of the man she used to love.

Still, he can’t help but feel a little annoyed with her as his migraine fully sets in, the throbbing in his head making his patience for her awkwardness thinning by the second.

“Uh, you’re really not feeling good are you?” she asks carefully, finally deciding to come close enough to him to squeeze his shoulder, but only for a second and he can’t help but roll his eyes, even if it’s painful.

He sees the hurt on her face and immediately feels like an asshole.

“Sorry, sorry, just migraine making me cranky but that’s not--”

“It’s okay--”

“It’s not!” he snaps, and God, now he’s even more of an asshole. The tension between them is growing with each passing moment and it’s entirely his own fault.

“Sorry, sorry. Head really hurts and I-I don’t... I invited you here, Maddie. Why are you acting like I didn’t?”

“What do you mean?” she whispers, lower lip wobbling and great, he’s made his girlfriend cry by being an absolute jerk, after all that she’s already been through.

“Y-You just... I’m sorry, you’re just...” he trails off, throwing his hands up in frustration, this time directed at himself. The pain in his head is intensifying and his vision is starting to blur a bit and he just can’t find the words.

Luckily, Maddie seems to catch his train of thought.

“Howie, I’m sorry,” she whimpers, “just feel... I-I don’t need to explain it. Can’t keep thinking about Harriet could’ve been orphaned a-and it would’ve been my fault.. don’t feel like I have a right to be here.”

“Wouldn’t have been your fault,” he sighs, laying his head down on the cool tile of the kitchen counter, “Doug’s fault, not yours.”

“I-I know...”

“Do you?”

“N-no, yes... I guess not, really. Not all the way. I sort of do.”

“Maddie...” he whispers, the words again not coming to him but this time he’s less frustrated with where his head is at because he knows no magic words are going to fix it, not in this instant. It’s going to take time.

“I-I’m sorry. You have a migraine, you need to rest.”

“That’s not your fault, either.”

“I didn’t say-- hey, um, let me get you some medicine and water. Then you need to go lay down. D-do you feel sick to your stomach at all? I know sometimes--”

“Will you come lay down with me?”

“I don’t know if that’s what you need right now,” she says awkwardly, crossing her arms, then uncrossing them, then crossing them again...

“It is. I know because I’m me and I’m asking for it,” he replies, and it’s snappier than he meant it to be and he opens his mouth to apologize again because God, he really sucks today, but Maddie speaks before she can.

“O-okay,” she nods hesitantly, “okay, I-I’ll come lay down with you, Howie. Just need to give you medicine first. G-gonna make it all better.”

Well, nothing is really fixed, but at least that’s a start.

.

When he wakes up, he still feels the remnants of his headache from earlier. Mercifully, it’s more of a dull ache than the throbbing and stabbing sensations from earlier. His stomach still feels upset, though he’s not sure if that’s the lingering effects of the migraine or the fact that his girlfriend has woken up in bed next to him screaming.

“Hey, hey, it’s okay, I’m right--”

He makes the mistake of reaching out to touch her. It’s a rookie mistake, really, one he never would have made if he wasn’t so exhausted and stressed to the point of not being all there mentally. He can’t blame Maddie, not in the slightest, when her hand goes flying to his face.

He should know better than to touch her before her mind is back in the room. He does know better, he just wasn’t thinking and now his nose is leaking blood down his shirt.

“Sorry, sorry, shouldn’t have touched you,” he winces, scrambling to turn on the light, which allows her to get a good look at him. The man in her bed, a man she feels safe with. A man that is currently bleeding because of her.

“H-Howie I-I...” she whimpers, gasping in a way that makes Chimney’s chest hurt, “I h-hit you? I-I-’m so--”

“Daddy? Maddie?”

Of fucking course. As if things couldn’t even be more of an actual cluster fuck. He can’t blame Harriet, either, he knows that. Maddie woke up screaming bloody murder, it’s no surprise that the noise woke Harriet, and from the sound of footsteps coming down the hall, Hen, too.

“It’s o-okay, Hare-Bear,” he tries to assure her, but it’s weak and his own overwhelm is clear as day. That, and the fact that his three year old daughter is seeing his top soaked with blood. Her own wailing starts instantaneously.

Hen, wise and brilliant Hen, only needs one look at the scene in front of her to astutely surmise exactly what has occurred.

“Go. I’ll stay with Maddie. Sort out Harriet and-- it doesn’t look broken, but put some pressure on it so it stops bleeding.”

“I-I’ll be back, Maddie,” he stammers out, stumbling a bit as he goes to pick up his daughter, “it’s okay.”

Chimney’s chest tightens and his heart rate is ramping up, and he’s not even wishing to ward off the panic attack, he knows it’s going to happen. He’s just hoping to delay it until both Harriet and Maddie are calmed down and back to sleep, when both girls that he loves so much don’t need him to hold it together.

“D-daddy,” Harriet whimpers, clutching at his shirt and getting blood on her perfect little hands, “Bleeding. Maddie o-okay? Scared? M’scared, too.”

“Shh, shh, it’s all okay, Harriet,” he murmurs as soothingly as he can, setting her down on the bed before taking off his shirt and balling it up to use as a makeshift issue for his nose, “you know how you get bad dreams sometimes? We all do. Maddie just had a bad dream and... and I was clumsy and fell when it woke me up.”

He decides that that’s the better answer than the truth for a toddler to understand without stressing her out more than she already is.

“Blood. D-daddy’s hurt.”

“Daddy will be okay, please don’t worry about me,” he hums, pulling Harriet into his lap with his free arm, “it’s all okay, Hare-Bear.”

“D-daddy. Maddie,” she sobs, burying her head in his chest.

“Shh, shh. It’s all okay, I promise.”

It’s really not, but again, she’s three.

“C-can I kiss it better?”

“In a minute, when it stops bleeding,” he nods, trying not to cry as Harriet is already trying to climb herself up to kiss his cheek.

She really is the sweetest kid he’s ever met, and he doesn’t just think that because she’s his kid. And right now, in the moment, he feels so undeserving of her adoration. Both Maddie and Harriet are crying and he can’t help but feel like he’s failing them, like he’s not doing his part to guide them through the trauma.

He knows he can’t just magically make what Maddie went through with Doug go away, he knows that, but hearing her scream.. he could be doing better. He should be doing the better.

“I love you, Harriet,” he whispers, hoping she can’t hear the way his voice cracks over her own crying, “I love you so much. The most special girl in the whole wide world.”

“Daddy. D-daddy special, too.”

He hates himself even more for feeling relieved that his daughter cries herself back to sleep.

At least his nose has stopped bleeding. He makes quick stop in the bathroom to clean himself up a bit with a wet washcloth before cautiously plodding back into the bedroom, where Hen is keeping a watchful eye on Maddie as the other woman trembles and whimpers.

“She’s b-back to sleep?”

“She’s back to sleep. It’s okay, Maddie. It was an accident. Didn’t mean to.”

“H-hurt you,” she weeps, “hurt you.”

“It was an accident, just an accident,” he repeats, going over to sit on the edge of his bed, still not sure if it’s wise to touch her yet, “it happens, Maddie. I should have known better than to touch you right away.”

“N-no. No. H-hurt you... shouldn’t h-have to know better, w-what I always thought with him.”

Him. He knows exactly who she’s referencing. She accidentally hit him in a moment of panic, when she didn’t even know they were safe in the bedroom and now she’s comparing herself to her ex-husband who tried to kill them both and he can’t, he just can’t.

He hates himself impossibly more, knowing he’s failing her again when his breath hitches and his whole body feels like it’s on fire, the panic overtaking him.

“I-I’m so sorry, s-so...” he trails off, choking a bit on his own breath, “n-need a minute.”

He slams the bathroom door shut a moment later, turning the lock with shaky hands before sinking down onto the floor.

He’s pathetic.

.

He’s not sure how long it’s been, how long he’s been hiding behind the locked bathroom door as he hyperventilates and occasionally retches over his toilet when he finally feels his breath even out and his heart rate settle back down into a more reasonable rhythm. He wants to stay for a few more minutes to completely gather himself before he faces his girlfriend, his girlfriend who he couldn’t even be properly there for, but he can hear Hen saying “Maddie, no, stop,” and he’s unlocking the door and stumbling back into the bedroom without thinking.

Maddie is pulling her jeans up over her hips, one shoe on as she clumsily bustles around the room, shoving some of her belongings into her bag.

“Maddie, no,” he shakes his head, feeling the tears once again pricking at his eyes for what feels like the hundredth time since he left the hospital earlier, “no, stay, I’m sorry. I-I’m so sorry, just needed a minute to... d-did I hurt your feelings? Don’t go, I’m sorry.”

“N-No, you didn’t... Howie, I hurt you,” she stammers out, shielding her face with her hands as if she’s too ashamed for him to look at her, “hurt you and scared Harriet, I-I shouldn’t be here.”

“No, I-I want you here,” he tries to assure her, but she’s shaking her head, still half-blindly packing her things up. He wants to grab her arm to stop her in place but he’s wary of startling her.

“You shouldn’t.”

“Why not? You’re my girlfriend, why wouldn’t I want you here?” he asks desperately, moving to stand in front of the bedroom door.

“Hurt you. W-woke up your daughter. You got stabbed by my ex and n-now... I just keep making things worse. Put you in danger, h-hit you, scared Harriet. Need to go. Move, I-I need to--”

“I’m not letting you leave,” he shakes his head, crossing his arms and trying to appear firm despite the way he can’t stop his legs from shaking.

“But--”

“No. Maddie, no. You didn’t mean to hit me, you didn’t even know it was me. And you had a nightmare. Harriet knows what those are, it’s not like you’ve irreparably traumatized for her. It’s better for everyone if you’re here.”

“How? How is it b-better?” she asks, looking at him as if he’s crazy for even suggesting that.

“Because I want you here, and so does Harriet,” he says desperately, “a-and if you’re not here... need you here. Y-you could have... I need you here. If you’re not, I-I’m just going to be too worried and anxious to d-do anything and Harriet... she needs me all there. And y-you, too, she loves you, you know that.”

Maybe it counts as emotional manipulation. He doesn’t really care. It’s all true and it’s 2 am and she’s trying to run out of his apartment, and he’s certain that if she does, the last piece of his sanity will crack.

“That’s not... Howie, I can’t... I can’t hurt you anymore, or Har--”

“But you’re not!” he shouts, before taking a deep breath and lowering his voice; Harriet doesn’t need to be woken up again that not, “it’ll hurt us more if you leave, don’t you see that?”

“No.”

At least it’s honest.

“Maybe you can’t, and I-I get that, it’s just... Maddie it’s 2 am. I’m not letting you run out in the middle of the night while you’re clearly upset and-- we can talk in the morning. If you want to talk more about this we can tomorrow just... please get back in bed. Please come back to bed with me. Please. Please don’t leave me.”

“That’s not fair.”

“It’s not,” he agrees with a shrug, “but just... please. Maddie, please. Just stay tonight. If you still think you should leave tomorrow... I-I probably won’t let you but we can at least talk about it more. But we’re both exhausted and just... just come back to bed.”

“Howie--”

“Maddie, please? I-I’m begging you.”

“...Fine. F-fine, I guess I’ll stay.”


	10. Chapter 10

.

Chimney wakes up to the smell of coffee, and two the sound of a pair of footsteps approaching.

“Ah, looks like he’s finally awake, Hare-Bear,” Maddie coos, holding the three year old in her arms, laughing when she claps her hands.

“Daddy!”

“What time is it?” he grumbles sleepily, looking over at the alarm clock by his bed stand and groaning when he sees that it is only 7 am, and that the wake up call could have waited for at least another hour.

But Harriet is grinning and Maddie seems a little more relaxed and content than she had when they went to sleep, so he supposes he can’t be too grumpy about it.

Maddie places Harriet down on the bed, who immediately wiggles to go hug her dad, snuggling into his side.

“Hi, daddy.”

“Hi, Harriet,” he chuckles, kissing the top of her head, “how long have you and Maddie been awake?”

“Long time!” she declares, but “long” in toddler time could mean anything from two hours to a whole two minutes, “Auntie Hen making breakfast!”

“Ah, so that explains the noise coming from my kitchen. Do you know what she’s making?”

“French Toast!”

“Your favorite. Must have suckered her into it,” he can’t help but grin, peppering a few more kisses along her hairline, “such a spoiled little girl you are sometimes.”

“Not spoiled, just loved,” Maddie huffs, and Chimney rolls his eyes a bit-- even if his lips are smiling. It’s become clear to him that he’ll have to be the one to handle any and all forms of discipline when it comes to raising Harriet... something that he hopes they’ll still get to do together.

He really, really hopes that he and Maddie come out on the other side of all of this pain and trauma still together.

“Really, how long have you two been awake?” Chimney asks Maddie, shaking his head as if he’s trying to psychically shake out any doubts regarding the longevity of their relationship from his mind.

“Not too long. Half an hour, maybe?” she muses, “when I woke up she was on top of me asking if my nightmare went away, so...”

“Sweetest little thing,” Chimney laughs, squeezing Harriet gently, “so sweet yet so, so mischievous and smart. Snuck into our bed, hmm?”

“Sharing is caring!”

“Well... yeah. I do always say that. I suppose you got me there, Hare-Bear.”

“And Hen was already awake reading a book and couldn’t resist your daughter’s puppy eyes, so, breakfast should be ready soon.”

Chimney wonders if “already awake” means Hen had actually just never gone back to sleep after Maddie’s nightmare woke everyone in the apartment up, wondering if she knew she might be needed again and wanted to be there to help if necessary.

She really is the best friend he could ever ask for, and the best aunt to Harriet. He makes a little mental reminder to buy her a gift basket or something, just as she calls out that breakfast is ready.

“Alright, alright. Time to eat, Harriet. Let me help you out of bed and then we’ll help your daddy out of bed.”

“Don’t need help,” Chimney protests, because yeah he got stabbed but he’s out of the hospital now and can handle going from lying down to standing up on his own, but Maddie shakes her head and the moment Harriet’s two little feet are on the ground, Maddie is helping him up.

“Don’t be so stubborn, Chimney. We all need help sometimes, right, Harriet?”

“Right!”

“When you two team up on me, that’s just not fair.”

“It’s fun,” Maddie shrugs, “right, Harriet?”

“Right! Glad Maddie here!”

“Oh, are you?” Chimney asks with a smile, hoping his daughter’s unintentional emotional manipulation by cuteness will help guilt Maddie’s idea that she should leave out of her mind.

“Yes! Rapunzel Maddie!”

“That’s right, sweetheart, Rapunzel Maddie. Aren’t we so lucky to have a real life princess staying with us?”

“Chim,” Maddie huffs.

“Real life! Yes! Movie in real life!”

“Uh, what are we talking about this morning?” Hen asks with an eyebrow raise, coming over to pull out Chimney’s chair for him, and again, he’s hurt, not completely useless, he thinks.

If Hen notices his eye roll, she just doesn’t care.

“That I’m a real life princess, apparently,” Maddie says sheepishly.

“Ah, I see. Little offended you’ve never thought I was a princess, Harriet,” Hen teases, booping her niece on the nose so she knows she’s only kidding.

“Auntie Hen is a king! More powerful!”

“Good girl, good memory,” Hen nods proudly, a hand on her chest, “good remembering all those feminist lessons I’ve been teaching you.”

Chimney can’t help but grin when Maddie puts up a hand and Hen high-fives her, thankful for this moment of peace, even if it winds up being fleeting. His three favorite girls are at the table with him, and all of them are smiling. It’s nice, he thinks, to have a moment in all of the madness where home feels happy and safe and uncomplicated.

He knows the complicated will come back, probably in all of five minutes, but this? The laughter, the teasing, the smiling? It gives him a little bit of hope.

.

Chimney is nervous.

Of course he knew Hen couldn’t be their permanent roommate (really, their babysitter, more for the adults than for Harriet), she has a wife and a kid, he knows this, but it’s daunting to have the one adult capable of being the most level headed out of the apartment.

Maddie, however, is making him seem like a pillar of calm.

She’s picking at her nails, then chewing on them, then pacing, then sitting down on the couch only to get up and pace two seconds later... except this time Harriet takes advantage and practically pounces onto her lap the moment she sits down.

“Oh, hi there.”

“Maddie!”

“That’s me,” Maddie chuckles nervously, gently running a shaky hand through the little girl’s hair, “to what do I owe the honor, Harriet?”

“Honor?” she asks, those wide, curious eyes that Maddie has grown to love so much staring right up at her.

“Well, it’s not everyday that I’m lucky enough to have my favorite person in the whole wide world sitting on my lap.”

“Should be!”

“You are just too sweet,” Maddie giggles, shaking her head, “must get that from your daddy, hm? Your dad is the sweetest man I’ve ever known.”

“Daddy’s very nice.”

“He is, he is. You are a very, very lucky girl to have him as your daddy. Such a good, kind man.”

“You ladies flatter me.”

“What’s flatter?”

“Flattery is when someone stretches the truth to make you seem better than you are, Harriet,” he explains, smiling at Maddie nervously.

“Which we were NOT doing to your daddy, hm?” Maddie challenges, bouncing Harriet a bit in her lap.

“Daddy is the best!”

“That’s right, sweetheart,” Maddie nods, huffing proudly.

“So is Maddie!” the little girl nods, and Maddie chews on her lip, feeling like now she is the one being theoretically flattered.

“She is,” Chimney agrees, before Maddie can cut in and awkwardly brush off the three year old’s compliment, “isn’t it so nice that she’s staying with us, Hare-Bear?”

“Sleepovers! So many sleepovers!”

“Precisely,” Chimney nods, the pride clear as day on his face.

“Maddie?” Harriet asks, curious puppy eyes once again in full effect.

“Yes, Harriet?”

“Why sad?”

“Oh, oh no, I’m not sad, sweetheart,” she shakes her head, trying to put on her most convincing smile. Really, it’s not even a lie. She’s not sad per say, just... traumatized and guilty and horrified, but none of that’s really very explainable to her boyfriend’s three year old daughter. His wise beyond her years but still very much an innocent little kid of a daughter.

“Seem sad,” Harriet whines, frowning, balling up her little hand in the fabric of Maddie’s blouse, and she might as well be reaching directly into her chest to tug directly on her heartstrings.

“Not sad, just tired. Your daddy snores, did you know that?”

“Hey!”

“It’s true,” Maddie shrugs, they both know that’s not the real reason Maddie is so tired. Sure, Chimney snores a little, but it’s fairly tame and quiet.

“What’s snoring?”

“The sound your daddy’s nose makes when he’s sleeping, sweetheart,” Maddie clarifies, pressing a kiss to the little girl’s hair, “have you ever heard it?”

“Oh, yeah!” she agrees enthusiastically, throwing her head back as she giggles.

“Why would you give my daughter more ammunition to hurt me?” Chimney asks, voice full of faux offense.

“More fun that way. Two against one. Isn’t that right, Harriet?”

“Math!”

“Yeah, math, you little genius,” Maddie laughs, “your daddy might be right when he says you’ll take over the world someday.”

.

“She’s a little angel,” Maddie murmurs contentedly, motioning for Chimney to lay down on the bed.

“Well, she’s on her best behavior for you,” Chimney half-jokes, smiling when he can feel the weight of Maddie’s body sinking down on the bed, sitting down beside him, “lay with me, petal.”

“Mmm. In a few minutes. Want to do something first.”

He doesn’t say anything, just looks up at her curiously, then frowning a bit when she pulls up his shirt.

“Maddie, you don’t have to check my scars a million times a day.”

“Million is a bit of an overstatement,” she huffs, giving his healing incisions a quick lookover before gently bringing her hand to the still smooth, non-jagged with scarring side of his stomach, “and I’m going to give you a belly rub. Well, a half belly rub. Know it would hurt too much on one side of your tummy still. Hopefully it’ll feel better in a few weeks.”

“You don’t have to.”

“I want to,” she hums, chewing on her lip for a few seconds, “believe it or not, not everything I do for you is out of guilt.”

“Some of it is, though,” he challenges but gently-- not a drop of animosity in his voice.

“Yeah,” she admits with a sigh, “I’m sorry--”

“Stop apologizing. Please.”

“It’s hard to let go of the guilt. That’s why I’ve been so awkward, and tried to leave a-and... I’m trying, you know? I’m trying, but I think it might be a little awkward for a while.”

“I can handle awkward,” he shrugs, “just not you feeling like you owe me anything. Because you don’t.”

“You could’ve died, Howie.”

“But I didn’t. And even if I had, it still wouldn’t have been your fault.”

“Harriet would’ve been an orphan.”

“Wouldn’t have been your fault, though.”

“Maybe on some level I know that,” she whispers, eyes pooling up with tears, “b-but... it was my ex-husband. I-I knew he was dangerous... put you in danger by getting involved with you. Put Harriet in danger.”

“No, you didn’t.”

“Chim--”

“I’m an adult, Maddie. I can make my own decisions, for myself and for my daughter. You didn’t do anything to us. We chose to start bringing you into our family, petal. And for the record, that’s a choice I don’t regret.”

“Not even now?”

“Not even now. Not at all.”

“You’re too kind,” she sighs, continuing to gently rub circles over the good side of his stomach.

“I’m just honest.”

She shakes her head; he really doesn’t know how good he is. It comes naturally to him to think such kind thoughts, to see the best in people, to let them know all the positive things he feels about them. He doesn’t view himself as good or kind because it’s his default, he could never think to be anything different.

“Do you still want to leave?” he asks after a moment’s silence.

“No,” she admits, “I wish I did, but no... I feel selfish but... you and Harriet... I like being here. I’ve got you, you take such good care of me and I’m here to take care of you while you’re healing, and Harriet... she’s so sweet. So cute. It’s not fair.”

“It’s not selfish, by the way. We want you here.”

“...I love you, Howie,” she murmurs quietly, eyes looking anywhere but his face, “I really do.”

“I love you, too, Maddie. Harriet and I both do.”


	11. Chapter 11

.

He’s never taken Harriet to the beach before, but Maddie had suggested they go on a little trip together before they both go back to work, and they knew they had to bring Harriet with them. Hen would volunteer to watch her, of course, but Harriet had been having some... separation anxiety ever since the stabbing, when Chimney had said he’d been home the next morning and then spent weeks in the hospital.

Not that he really minds, though, feeling the wonder of the first time he went to the beach as a child all over again through watching Harriet experience it.

“Sand, daddy!”

“Yeah, sand,” he grins, watching Harriet gather sand in her hands and then letting it seep through her fingers over and over again, a look of pure amazement on her face.

“See? I told you the beach was a good idea,” Maddie smirks playfully, sipping on her tumblr of juice.

(Harriet has her bottle of juice, too, but if Maddie and daddy have a little gin in their containers of juice, well, that’s their own adult secret.)

“A great idea,” he nods, looking out at the waves, at the way the sun reflects off of the water. It’s beautiful, and reminds him of all the beach days he had with his mom as a child.

Which makes him miss his mom, and then makes him more sad because he knows Harriet will never get to have any memories like that with her mother, but then he also feels grateful for Maddie, and the fact that they had both survived attempts on their life six weeks ago.

They’re alive, he gets to raise his daughter, and of course Maddie could never replace Beth or the whole in Harriet’s heart from the loss of her mother, but she’s a nice bonus of love in Harriet’s life that he could have never seemed coming.

He had swore, up and down to Hen, that he was done with love after Beth died. He couldn’t imagine ever falling in love again, or wanting to let someone become that important to him. He never wanted to feel that loss again-- after all, hadn’t he had enough loss in his life, even before Beth died?

But sitting there, watching his daughter giggle as she continues to play with the sand while his girlfriend encourages her, getting all sandy to play with his child, he feels... love. There’s no other word for it. It’s not the family he had imagined, it’s not the plan A, but it’s certainly better than just he and Harriet on their own.

He feels a small hand on his stomach and it pulls him out of his mind. He winces when Harriet’s little fingers are tracing his scar tissue.

“All better? Doesn’t hurt anymore?” she asks with huge wide eyes, having been so upset that her daddy couldn’t carry her or play with her very much while he was healing.

“Yeah, all better. Doesn’t hurt anymore, Harriet,” he whispers, heartbroken at the sight of his daughter’s eyes fixated on his scars, knowing it all was a trauma for her too, even if she wasn’t old enough to completely understand what had happened.

“Healed. Magic.”

“Well, it’s not really magic. The body has--”

“Yeah, magic,” Maddie cuts him off, shaking her head with a grin, “your daddy is magic. Love and magic made him all better.”

“Love! Magic!” Harriet squeals, clapping her hands in glee in that way he loves so much, then wiggling to snuggle up against his chest, “magic daddy. Love you.”

“I love you, too, Hare-Bear.”

.

“Good girl,” Maddie hums, wiping at Harriet’s messy cheeks after the little girl has proudly proclaimed that she’s finished all of the vegetables on her plate.

“Just like you!”

“Oh, you are just so sweet.”

“It’s nice, being here all three of us,” Chimney muses, “I’m really going to miss it.”

“You know... my lease is almost up...” Maddie not so subtly hints, but it seems to fly over Chimney’s head. She supposes because they haven’t been together for very long, so he’s not even considering that she would want to move in for good. So when he doesn’t comprehend, she decides to just cut her losses and not push it.

“That’s good. I know you wouldn’t want to live somewhere where... yeah, the blood is still on the brick the last time I checked.”

It’s easy for Maddie to pretend like everything is fine, like she’s not feeling rejected, because she supposes, she wasn’t. It’s not like she directly asked and Chimney said no. He just... didn’t get the hint.

Still, she feels sad, and it’s not lost on Hen.

“Hey,” Hen says quietly, nudging Chimney’s shoulder, “is Maddie okay?”

“Uh, yeah, why wouldn’t she be?”

“Dunno, she just seems quiet and not... as enthusiastic as you’d think she’d be considering it’s your welcome back party after being stabbed.”

“Uh, maybe it’s the association with the whole me being stabbed thing,” he says, crinkling up his eyebrows at her, “and in regards to that... she’s probably stressed. She told me her lease is almost up, which is good, you know? Because I got almost murdered right outside her old apartment. But having to find a new place and move is always stressful, even if it’s for the best.”

“Are you stupid?”

“What?”

“I said are you stupid.”

“Uh, I’d like to think not?”

“That was a hint, you moron,” Hen groans, rolling her eyes, “you really think it’s a coincidence that just as you’re both all healed and it’s about time for her to go back to her own place, she mentions that her lease is almost up?”

“I don’t understand what you’re getting at--- oh. Oh. You think she wants to...?”

“Ah, there’s that smart paramedic brain of yours catching up. Can’t believe you didn’t--”

“I just didn’t think she’d want to. It’s not that I’m necessarily against it, it’s just that we haven’t been together that long...”

“You and Beth moved in fairly quickly.”

“Yeah, but she was pregnant. That’s different.”

“I mean, yeah, but...”

“But what, Hen?”

“I’m just saying, you two haven’t been together officially for very long, but she’s been very involved with Harriet right form the start. So maybe it’s not TOO different from you and Beth.”

“I don’t know,” Chimney sighs, shaking his head, “it’s not that I don’t want her there, or that Harriet doesn’t, or that things haven’t been so good just the three of us...”

“Then what is it then?” Hen asks, though she’s pretty sure she already knows the answer.

“It’s just all... fast. Which isn’t bad, per say, it’s just... six months ago I never thought... you know, after Beth... I never thought I’d have another girlfriend. It’s just fast.”

“I get that,” Hen nods, not surprised at all, “and you don’t have to have her move in. I’m sure she’d understand. You’ve got trauma there. Just... just think about it, okay? Just consider it for me.”

“Okay,” he sighs, “I’m not even sure it’s a no it just... wasn’t even on my radar. Need to think it through.”

“Of course,” she agrees easily, “now. It’s your welcome back party mister I cheated death a second time. No thinking too hard about it right this instant. I want to see a smile on that face. This is a happy occasion.”

“Alright, alright, yes ma’am. Smiling.”

“Smile wider.”

“Hen.”

“Did I stutter?”

.

“Do you wanna move in?”

A silence follows, other than Maddie’s fingernails scraping to catch up the book she was holding in her hands after she had let go of her grip of it in shock. She doesn’t blame herself for it though, as she was not expecting that to come blurting out of his mouth. She had just been talking about the apartments she’s been looking at, none that she really LOVES but a few that will do if her offers go through, and how annoying packing is, and then Chimney had just... asked her to move.

“I realized you were hinting,” he blurts out, no more delicately than the last thing he’s said, “a few weeks ago, when you m-mentioned that your lease was almost up and I talked about it with Hen, and--”

“You don’t have to,” she’s quick to cut him off, thinking that she’s putting him out of her misery because she doesn’t want him to offer to let her move in out of guilt or feeling like he has to in order to appease her. Sure, she loved her time when it was the three of them in his apartment together, but in the grand scheme of things they haven’t been together that long, and he has a kid, so he has to take Harriet into account when making these sort of decisions.

“I want you to,” he says easily, and she can feel her heart pounding in her chest, “you just caught me by surprise, is all. I-I didn’t think you’d feel ready for that...”

“Do YOU feel ready for that?” she asks, trying (and failing) not to get her hopes up.

“Yes,” he replies, letting out a deep breath, “I just... Beth and I moved in fairly quick, too, and then... you know how that went.”

“I do,” she murmurs, tears welling up in her own eyes at the cracking in his voice, at how raw it can be at times. She knows she can’t make it go away, she knows that her love can’t heal the trauma. Nothing can undo the damage done by finding his fiance, the mother of his child, dead on the floor after a surprise aneurysm when their child was only a month old. And she doesn’t even WANT to undo it even if she magically could, because Beth mattered and she stills matters to Chimney and Harriet, and she always will.

She just wishes he didn’t have to hurt so much, that the reason her and him are even together in the first place wasn’t because Harriet’s mother died.

“And so I... it hurts to think about, that happening again, even though I know the chances of that are... I’m sorry, you don’t want to hear me talk about you hypothetically dying.”

“I get it,” she sighs, shaking her head as she steps forward to put her hand on his shoulder to let him know that it’s okay, it’s okay for him to feel whatever he’s feeling and to voice it out loud. She hurts when he hurts, but she hurts even more when he feels like he needs to hide it all away.

“So it just, when Hen pointed out that moving in is what you wanted... it was scary. Not because I don’t want you here but the last time I had my full family under one roof...”

“Chimney, if you’re not ready, there’s no timeline for this. Most couples who move in have been together for--”

“But I am ready, and I do want this,” he insists, tentatively bringing his hand to her cheek, “I love you, Maddie, and so does Harriet, and things are so good when all three of us are together. I want our family all together, it was just scary to think about at first, and maybe still is a little, but that’s never going to 100% go away.”

“Are you sure? You really want this?” she asks, unable to keep the grin from forming on her face.

“I do. Madeline Buckley, would you do me the great honor of cohabitating with me and my daughter?”

“Howard Han, the honor is all mine.”


	12. Chapter 12

.

“Hare-Bear, there’s something Maddie and I need to talk to you about,” Chimney says a bit nervously, placing his almost four year old in his lap.

“Talk about what, daddy?” she asks, those big curious eyes that he loves so much on full display.

“Do you remember when Maddie was staying with us for a bit?” he questions gently, stroking her hair.

“Yes! Was fun!”

“Well, Maddie and daddy were thinking... well, that it was fun, but more importantly... Maddie and daddy love each other very much and would like Maddie to be here all the time. But we want to make sure that you’re okay with that first, because you’re a member of this family, too.”

“You wanna stay?” Harriet asks, pointing a finger at Maddie.

“Yes,” she smiles nervously, “I want to be with you and your daddy and join your home. But like you’re daddy said, we want to make sure that’s okay with your first.”

“Okay.”

“...Okay?” Chimney asks, a bit surprised by the casualness with which his daughter delivers her answer.

“Okay, daddy! Love Maddie.”

“I know you do, and I love her very much, too, but we just--”

“Should stay! Can play with me more often.”

“Yes, that’s certainly right. If I’m living here I’ll be able to play with you more often,” Maddie grins, coming over to kneel down in front of Chimney and Harriet on the couch, “can play more, sweetheart, and be there to help your daddy put you to bed. Your daddy and I are working towards the three of us being a family, okay? But if this feels too fast or weird or--”

“My friend June has a step-mommy! Moved in with her and her daddy.”

“Well, Maddie and I aren’t married--”

“And Henry has his mommy’s boyfriend living with them. Said it was weird at first but now he likes it because mommy seems happy and now he has less time that he has to be in the car.”

“Well, that’s one to put it,” Chimney can’t help but chuckle, and in response Maddie can’t help but roll her eyes at him before she gets serious again.

“Harriet, sweetheart? I just want you to understand that while I love you and your daddy very much, I’m not trying to replace anyone-- I’m not trying to replace your mama. She’ll always be your mama and I’m not trying to take that away, okay?”

“Mama’s up in the sky watching us.”

“That’s right,” Maddie nods with a small smile, “she is. She’ll always be apart of you and your daddy’s hearts and I would never, ever want to change that. I just hope you understand that.”

“Okay! Got mama in the sky and Maddie living with me and daddy. Can we read a story now?”

“...That’s it?” Chimney asks incredulously, “you’re just--”

“Yes,” Maddie giggles, lifting Harriet up from off her father’s lap, “we can go read a story now and then maybe we can share ideas about how we’ll redecorate a bit when I move in. I think your daddy needs more color, don’t you!”

“Green!”

“Yeah, maybe a little more of my favorite girl’s favorite color.”

It’s hard for Chimney not to tear up a bit as he updates Hen over the phone, with how grateful he is that Harriet took it so well and that he moved forward with inviting Maddie to join their family more, well, physically.

“She’s three and she loves Maddie. What did you think she’d say, Chim?” Hen laughs, “not that I’m not glad it worked out, I just was expecting it to.”

“I know, I know, she loves Maddie. It’s just... kids don’t always love change, you know? And as much as she loves Maddie it’s still a big change, so I’m glad I got her stamp of approval.”

“Harriet’s a smart girl, you’re always telling me that... I think she wants her daddy to be happy.”

“Well, also Maddie to be around to play with her more often, she said that verbatim.”

“And for her daddy to be happy. I know it wasn’t always easy, Chim, but you’ve done a great job with her. You’ve been an excellent single father and you deserve to now be able to breathe a little bit, to have someone you both love around to help raise her. She’s only almost four but Harriet’s always been a bit wise beyond her years.”

“I may have been a single dad, but I was never completely alone. Had you.”

“Oh, don’t be all mushy,” Hen scoffs, but Chimney can hear a hint of tears in her voice, “and no, you were never alone, per say, but... this is better, right?”

“Yeah,” he nods emphatically, tears of his own in his eyes, “this is better.”

.

He’s not going to cry, he’s not going to cry, he’s not going to cry, god damn it.

There’s no shame in crying, of course, that’s something he tells Harriet all the time, but moving day is chaotic enough for his daughter with Maddie bringing all her stuff in and he knows she’ll automatically interpret daddy crying as something being wrong.

And nothing is wrong, the opposite, in fact. Maddie is moving in, he’s fallen in love after he swore he never would again, and he’s lucky enough to have his daughter and girlfriend be crazy about each other.

It’s hard not to think back to when the three of them all first met, and he’s not really a big believer in everything happening for a reason but it does seem like a stroke of fate that he couldn’t get a babysitter that day. Because part of what let him let go and let himself fall in love again was watching Maddie fall in love with Harriet, and vise versa.

He’ll always miss Beth, and he’ll always wish that she survived to marry him and watch their daughter grow up like had been planned, but he’s slowly starting to accept that just because the best case scenario had been cruelly stolen from him, it didn’t mean that he couldn’t enjoy his life after the fact.

And Maddie could never be a second choice, never. It’s just… he loved Beth then, and he loves Maddie, and maybe he’ll always be in love with Beth a little but Maddie understands and embraces that, because she died; it’s not like they broke up.

(And he knows, he knows now that Maddie is moving in he’ll have anxiety and probably even some nightmares about finding her dead the way he found Beth, but he’s choosing to not worry about that at the moment and to just let himself be happy.”

“We come with a gift!” Hen announces, and he’s surprised to hear her voice because she hadn’t mentioned that she was going to stop by, nor that Karen or Denny were going to be here they all.

“Present?”

“Sorry, Hare-Bear, more for your dad and Maddie than you, but you know that I always love to spoil you so you can expect a gift from your Auntie Hen soon.”

“Yay, Hen! The present auntie!”

“Hey,” Karen murmurs, nudging Chimney’s arm with her elbow while she holds a giftbag, “come in the other room with me for a second?”

“Yeah, sure,” he says nervously, afraid that it’s finally coming, that Karen is finally going to yell at him for moving on from Beth and bringing another woman into his home…

“Open it,” she prompts him, thrusting the bag in his arms, “Hen has the more actual housewarming gift for you and Maddie, but I thought you might want to have this.”

Well, the second he digs through the tissue paper he gives up on his quest not to cry. It’s a baby blanket. Beth’s baby blanket that her mother used with her, and her mother’s mother used with her, and that he and Beth used with Harriet… and then Beth passed away and it became too painful for Chimney to have so he had given it to Karen.

“Karen…” he trails off, wiping at his eyes as he scrambles to try and find the words.

“I know you didn’t want it when Harriet was a baby, and I get that but… it should stay in the family, you know?”

“You are her family, too.”

“I know I am, but… Hen and I are going to look into foster care but we’re not having more babies, and Harriet should have it when she’s older should she ever want one, and should you and Maddie decide to give Harriet a sibling…”

“Karen,” he says again, now openly weeping as he throws his arms around him because he’s needed her blessing this whole time but had no idea how to ask for it.

“You knew Beth as well as I did, probably even better, actually, and you know she was a firm believer that love never runs out… the more the merrier, that loving someone doesn’t take away from your love for someone else. And if you DID choose to give Harriet a sibling… she’d still want the baby to have it even though he or she wouldn’t be biologically hers. Because that’s who she was. So I just needed you to have the blanket in case the next baby from the family line was yours and not Harriet’s.”

“Thank you,” he sobs, putting his head down on her shoulder, “thank you, Karen.”

“I know I wasn’t as present with you and Harriet as I should’ve been when she was younger, I know, it was just too hard but… I’m here now, okay? And I’m happy for you and Maddie and Beth would be, too. So how about we both stop crying and get your girlfriend all moved in?”

“Yeah, yeah. Just give me like two more minutes to finish crying first. You got me good, Karen.”

.

“Welcome home,” Chimney murmurs, and Maddie can feel his lips curving upward against her neck as they lay in bed together, tired after helping Maddie move into their apartment.

“Mmm. You’ve always felt like home. It’s just official now.”

“So lucky, you know? So lucky Buck convinced you to stay in LA... hate admitting Buck was right but I’ll give him this one.”

“He’s smart, just in his own way,” Maddie giggles with an eye roll, wiggling so that she’s practically on top of her boyfriend, “but yes, he was right... even with everything that happened. He told me something that Eddie said while Doug had me... that Doug always would’ve found me, even if I kept running, but I just would’ve been alone and there’s a chance no one would have even known I was missing.”

It hurts to think about, it hurts Chimney indescribably to even imagine but he knows it’s likely true. Doug is, Doug was relentless, as evidenced by the fake identity and stalking and abducting and stabbing... he never would have given up on finding Maddie, even if she never stayed in one place for very long. He hates to give the man credit for anything but as evil as the man was, he was also quite smart. He would always have found her.

“I hate Doug. But I’m glad you’re here,” he finally says, knowing that Maddie is waiting for an answer from her, “and so is Harriet.”

“Mmm. Glad I’m here, too. I love you both so much. Could never imagine having a real, loving family of my own since I got married but now I have you two to come home to everyday. The kindest man I’ve ever known and the most perfect little girl I’ve ever made. You made an angel, Howie.”

“I guess Beth and I did,” he laughs.

“You did a really good job raising her,” Maddie whispers, bringing her hand to Chimney’s cheek, “can’t even imagine how hard it was without Beth, but you did so, so good.”

“Think she was just special all on her own,” he shrugs, but Maddie’s not having it.

“She is, she’d always be special but she also has an amazing daddy who she adores beyond words,” she says with a huff, “you went above and beyond to make her feel happy and loved after you were handed a horrible situation. You’re a wonderful dad, Chimney.”

“Thank you,” he sniffles, and she can feel the tears against her thumb, “all I ever wanted was for her to be happier than I was.”

“Well, you succeeded but now you both can be happy, hm? You and Harriet.”

“Mmm. Me and Harriet. And you?”

“And me,” Maddie nods enthusiastically, pecking him on the lips, “more happy than I could have ever imagined.”


	13. Chapter 13

.

“You okay, honey?” Maddie asks, concerned as he more or less drags his feet through the door. His face is pinched with tension and she knows that the actual answer is no, though of course at first he tries to say otherwise.

“Yeah, yeah, m’fine.”

“Daddy! Different,” Harriet shouts, practically hurling herself at her father who bends down to pick her up on instinct, which just gives her more access to what she’s picked up on, “you have a badge!”

She points to it and ah, he has a badge that says... captain on it?

“Bobby’s out for... a few weeks maybe more, I don’t know, stupid fallout from the whole bank robbery thing... something about back in Minnesota, I don’t know, it’s stupid and I don’t--” he cuts himself off in his explanation to the other adult in the room, looking down at Harriet in his arms as if he suddenly remembers that she’s there, “it’s temporary, I’m just filling in for Bobby.”

“I’d say congratulations but you don’t seem to happy,” Maddie sighs, biting her lip and really she can’t blame him for not wanting any added stress after everything that’s happened in such a short period of time.

“I wasn’t given much of a choice, let’s just put it that way,” he replies, and maybe it’s just the lighting but his eyes look a little wet and she wishes she could just hold him, but she’s in the middle of making dinner and also doesn’t want to clue in Harriet to how out of sorts her father is.

Though, of course, it seems she’s already figured that out herself.

“Are you okay, daddy?”

“Yeah, I’m okay, Hare-Bear. Daddy’s just tired.”

“Captain... Captain like uncle Bobby?” she asks, and he hopes she doesn’t notice the way he winces at her words.

“Just for a little bit, but yes.”

“Captain daddy!” she squeals, clapping her hands with glee and Chimney wishes, God he really wishes he was excited about this recent development as his daughter was.

“Yeah, captain daddy... who has to shower, here, going to put you down,” he murmurs, gently putting her on her feet as he does, ignoring her protests and wanting to be held by her daddy for a little longer.

“Don’t take too long, dinner will be ready soon,” Maddie says, eyes narrowed in concern.

“Not really hungry, not feeling too great...” he trails off, and she wants to come forward and yank on his arm to keep him from more or less running away from her when he’s upset but now Harriet is crying because she can tell her daddy’s upset, and Maddie supposes she should probably deal with that.

“Daddy’s okay, sweetheart, just stressed.”

.

“Just get out. Get out and leave me alone.”

He can’t blame Hen for the shocked, betrayed, and slightly confused look on her face, because yeah, he has emotional whiplash from himself, too.

He had been so happy. So, so, happy. Maddie had moved in and he had been living in this little bubble of joy doing everyday life as a family with his daughter and his girlfriend.

But the stresses of what happened with Doug hadn’t magically disappeared. They were all in therapy, including Harriet with a child therapist because no, she didn’t know what was actually going on, but she knew that something was off. Maddie didn’t want to get out of bed somedays, she still blamed herself, and Chimney blamed himself for all of it, too.

And this, the added pressures and stresses of being captain because Bobby had been suspended had popped the little happy bubble, and it appears to be the straw that breaks the camel’s back. He’s tired, he’s cranky, he’s an anxious mess and it’s as if feeling like he’s failing at being captain is reminding him of all the ways he let down Maddie. He should have realized someone was behind him, he should’ve realized someone was watching them, he should have realized Maddie and then by association Harriet was in danger, and he had failed both of them and now they’re both struggling and he feels helpless and weak.

Hen glances at the door to the captain’s office he’s more or less hiding in for only a split second before she’s shaking her head.

“No, I’m not leaving you alone like this. You’re clearly not okay and you’re my best friend so I need to be there for you. Whether you’re nice to me or not. Go on, I can take it. Say all the meanest things to me that you can think of, but I’m not leaving.”

“Hen,” he practically spits, through painfully gritted teeth, “get the fuck out.”

“No.”

She folds her arms tightly in front of her chest, and he can tell from the look on her face that he’s not going to win this one.

“I’m sorry.”

“For what?” Hen asks, raising an eyebrow at him, “for snapping at me? Because--”

“For everything. I’m just sorry.”

“Chimney, what does that even mean?” she asks, coming forward and tentatively putting a hand on his shoulder.

Silence.

“Chimney? You can talk to me about anything, you know that.”

But he doesn’t know how to put it into words, and even if he could he doesn’t want to. He’s the captain and it just doesn’t feel the same anymore because no matter how many times Hen assures him that she’s still his best friend, it just can’t be the same because how is he supposed to expect her to trust him and follow his lead if she knows how weak he’s feeling?

“Chim. Howie. Howard.”

“Just... have a lot going on.”

“You were stabbed, like, a little over a month ago, so yeah.”

“I don’t know what to do.”

“About what?” Hen asks easily, and she’s so easy to talk to it feels like torture that he doesn’t think that he should.

“I’m fine,” he shakes his head, “just a lot of pressure on me.”

“Have you talked to Mad--”

“I’m fine,” he repeats, shaking his head again and getting up from his desk as the bell goes off, “don’t say a word to her. I’m fine.”

.

Maddie feels guilty for feeling so relieved when she receives the text-- Bobby is officially back at work and back as Captain, which means her boyfriend is no longer Captain. It’s not that she doesn’t trust or believe in his abilities, of course, from what she’s heard she’s been doing a fine job but... it’s just too much too soon. After the stabbing, after she almost died, after how Harriet almost lost her only living parent... Chimney would make a great captain someday but the pressure of at all combined with the current stressful season of his life made him essentially an emotional pressure cooker.

It’s not that he took it out on her and Harriet, he was just... on edge. Off. And Harriet picked up on it, too, constantly asking Maddie if her daddy was okay.

The sound of the lock turning brings her out of her reverie, and she turns to find Chimney in front of her, his daughter in his arms after picking her up from Karen.

“We’re hooooooooooome,” he grins, and there’s genuine joy in his voice and no more tension in his body and she doesn’t mean to, but she immediately bursts into tears.

“Why are you crying?” Harriet asks, looking mildly amused and Maddie guesses that at this point, the toddler is experiencing whiplash from her dad and his girlfriend’s wildly changing emotions.

“Just happy! I missed you two!” she coos, kissing Chimney’s cheek before scooping Harriet up out of his arms, “and daddy seems really happy and that makes me really happy.”

“Like it when daddy’s happy,” Harriet agrees very seriously, nodding her head in a way that cracks Maddie up because it’s far too knowing for a three (almost four!) year old, “was cranky this morning but now he’s happy.”

“Hey!” Chimney shouts with faux offense, laughing before he meets Maddie’s eye and lowers his voice, “but really, are you alright?”

“I’m more than alright,” she sighs contentedly, “I’m just glad you’re going to be able to relax again. Was worried by all that tension and pressure you were carrying around.”

“I’m good now,” he nods, “sorry for going a little crazy.”

“No, no, you didn’t go crazy on us, you were just--”

“Maddie, put me down!” Harriet squeals, “wanna go play with my new toy!”

“New toy? You bought her a new toy to make up for how grumpy I was?” Chimney asks with a lopsided grin.

“I didn’t buy her a new toy, did you?” Maddie asks, crinkling up her nose.

“From Auntie Hen! Said it was to give daddy a break!”

And really, Chimney wants to be frustrated that his best friend gave his daughter a new toy to “give him a break” because he’s been so stressed that she apparently thought he’d want to keep his daughter distracted at all times, but it’s so funny that he’s cackling before he can stop himself and then Maddie is laughing, and then Harriet is laughing too, and it’s the lightest moment the three of them have shared in a long while.

So maybe he won’t chew Hen out over it later.

“Okay, sweetie, can I see your new toy?” Maddie asks, “maybe we can all play with it together before dinner.”

“Okay!” Harriet agrees easily, clumsily fishing through the bag dropped on the floor with the dexterity of a child her age and pulling out a new beanie baby.

“Aww, he’s so cute,” Chimney laughs, looking at the stuff bird, “does he have a name?”

“No, but Auntie Hen says the eyebrows make him look like you, daddy!”

“Uh, how? My eyebrows don’t look like--”

“You’re both angry!”

Maddie is now laughing so hard she’s bent over and yeah, sorry Hen, but you’re definitely going to hear it the next day at work.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry it's been fucking forever!


End file.
